Fed up

Feeling fed up right now.  Looking forward to getting away tomorrow for a few days.  Sent Nick away today and it was an ok time at the airport, but the last part was emotional.  Yes it was.  There were a few other people who sent him away as well, so I had to stay strong.  Mum pushed back those tears as much as possible too but couldn't keep some from flowing out.  I was pretty much the same.  Can't remember when I last had a proper cry.  Seems like there is stuff bottling up inside of me but I can't seem to find an outlet.  I really need that "mountain top experience" when I can shout out loud and let it all out.  Not literally shout it out cos that would hurt my throat, quite literally, but really just let off some steam.  Something that even the gym can't do.  Where can I get this outlet?

Taxi

In the middle of looking through and gathering my important documents I need for flying tomorrow.  Have to be at Glasgow Airport for 9am.  I've just this moment booked the taxi for 8am, just in case of transport issues or whatever.  In fact, I think I might be too early but better early than feeling I'm in a rush.  But guess what?  Before I hung up I asked the operator if there is a set fee for going to the airport.  She told me usually it is £16 but because tomorrow it is fare-and-a-half I am due to pay £24.  Bloody heck!!  That's more than a standard one hour driving lesson!  Don't know if I'll even learn anything from this driver.  Lol!!  Probably spot a lot of bad habits instead.  Haha!  Don't think I'll tip then.  £24 is a lot of money and that's even before I've departed to my destination.

Christmas

Christmas was nice.  Had Nick over spending the day with us for once our family opened Christmas presents together.  Took pictures and videos and had a laugh.  Cat prepared brunch for us all.  I prepared dinner.  We had brunch, opened presents, had a laugh, then watched some tv, played with a new massage chair and played Sudoku (Nick and I) and then it was time to prep dinner.  Lol!  Quiet night in and it was just as well because the streets outside were frozen and pure slippery.  We ended the night praying for one another, in particular praying for Nick as he was soon to set off back to Singapore.  We thank God for a blessed time together as a family plus one :)

Disconnected

Now Christmas has passed, the next special occasion is New Year.  And between now and then I will be off work which will give me time away.  Time in solitude with God and time to reflect upon things in my life.  Most likely will be without the internet, cos although the hotel offers free wi-fi I won't be bringing my laptop as I don't want to carry so much stuff.  If I get access, cheap access, to a computer I might check email and/or Fb, but if not I'm happy to just be "disconnected" for a few days and reconnect with God.  I won't be using my mobile because if I use it for outbound connects it will be roaming and I will be charged a bomb for something that is free back here.

Plan to bring my Bible with me.  Notepad, pen, Christian book, print outs of places to visit and of course somme Euros and Pound notes just in case.  Will pack some gym stuff as well.  Will try to go to the gym a couple of times to keep the physique, cos even though I'm on holiday, working out cannot be on holiday.  Christmas Eve I had a McDonald's for lunch.  Today I had McDonald's for lunch.  This evening I had Pizza Hut.  So c'mon!!  Where is the discipline??  Whilst I'm away I hope I can find healthy enough food to man, if not I'm gonna come back a few pounds flabbier!!  Noooo!!

Looking ahead

Nick asked me last night what my aspirations are for 2011.  I told him I want to look good, feel good and smell good.  But about all else I want to walk closer with God.  I think being closer with God is the most essential thing I need to be which will help me look good and feel good.  For smell good, well I'm not sure I'd smell any different, but for sure I might have the "fragrance" of the Holy Spirit.  Haha!  Tonight I was reminded of the importance of Seeking First the Kingdom of God and few nights ago I was playing Scrabble and the first seven tiles I randomly chose turned out to spell "J-O-S-H-U-A-B".  We were quite amazed at seeing that and later when I got home I read the Bible at Joshua chapter 8.  The first thing is said was "Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged".  When asked by some people if this applies to my life at present, I think it does actually.  There is something niggling inside of me, something that has been taking my thoughts and attention, something weighing down my insides.  What can I do about it?  Could God be speaking to me indirectly?  Truthfully I haven't been too close to Him recently and it is something I am shameful of.  I feel I have been running on my own steam, on my own fuel.  Need to look to God to be my fuel, to be my source... =)