Frustration

This is crap, this is sh*t! This is my diary so I'll write what I want!!

I can't believe it is Hogmanay, the last day of 2008 and I am feeling this angry and frustrated. Sigh!! Sigh!!

Why can't we have the eyes of Jesus? Why can't we treat everyone like Jesus would? God, why? It is easier said than done, and we are only human after all. There are limits to what we can do on our own strength, and we need God for the rest. We need God for love, we need God for patience, for kindness, for God's heart. But have you asked God for these things?

I understand we can't please everyone. All I know is I want my freedom as soon as possible. When will that day come? Screw this man!

Christmas Days

Has been a few days since I lost posted. In fact, it was Christmas Eve and I didn't get the chance to wish everyone a Merry Christmas! So I hope everyone had a blessed time at Christmas getting some good presents and spending quality time with your family or closest friends, celebrating the true meaning of Christmas which is Jesus coming to Earth as a baby. What a story! What a Man! :)

As usual the last four of holidays have gone by so quickly. And here I am back in the office at Desk 50. Typing up on my journal in the second half of my lunch break. The in-between-Christmas-and-New-Year time gives a weird feeling. We are at work, yet it does not feel as 'serious' as it usually does. You know certain work you do will not really be effective until after 5th January when everything returns to 'normal'. But you still have to work, whilst many other people are chilling out at home, watching crap daytime tv (haha!), playing games, at the carnival, checking out the sales etc. Work has been busy this morning, surprisingly. My counterpart, David, is off until 2nd Jan so I'll be dealing with most of the stuff myself for today, tomorrow and Wed. But fortunately I have taken annual leave on 2nd Jan so will have another long weekend! Yay!! Let's see if I remember what I've been up to in the days off.

Christmas Day: Got up around 0830hrs to put the turkey joint into the oven to cook and went back to bed. Got up again at 1030hrs Cat decorated the kitchen table with red tablecloth, wine glasses and fruit bowl and Christmas lights, and hung some baubles around the door ways etc. The Christmas feel started stirring, but unfortunately there was no snow this year. Booo... We took a family pic before having lunch, then I put on Mamma Mia! dvd for mum and Cat to watch whilst I washed up. I joined in with the ABBA fever after bringing in hot apple pie with custard for dessert. Mum really enjoyed 'Mamma Mia!' She said she thought about buying the dvd a few days ago, but didn't when the price in ASDA store was different from price ASDA advertised on TV. But Cat then borrowed it from Elaine in youth group as a surprise for mum, so that was amazing and we thank God for providing! :) After 'Mamma Mia!' I played a bit of PS3 and then went online. When it was close to dinner time we didn't feel like eating as we were so stuffed from lunch. So decided to have tea and biscuits whilst watching a Stephen Chow comedy called 'Love is Love'. The film was more of a drama than a comedy, telling of a couple's relationship as they had gone from being poor to being rich and the troubles that came along with it etc. My mind was constantly thinking of sleeping and also of watching 'Iron Man' on blu-ray which would have been the alternative. [So as of yet, I have not watched 'Iron Man' or '300' on blu-ray on my PS3. Anybody interested in watching with me? Hehe!] Went to bed at 2300hrs to prepare for the early rise for Boxing Day Sale!!!

Boxing Day: Woke up at 06:10hrs, had something to eat, met up with Charlotte Tai for the Next Boxing Day Sale. I parked at Buchanan Bus Station and walked to Next. This is our third consequetive year going for the sales at this early time. It has become a 'tradition' now. Though this year Alfred Tan was back in Singapore and Aaron Goh was still working his night shift, Charlotte and I had to go to keep the tradition going. We are hardcore bargain hunters. Lol! Went to Ming's new place to do some painting and cleaning. Then came home for dinner and watched TVB with mummy.

Saturday 27th December: Went out to Forge Shopping Centre then Glasgow Fort Shopping Centre to look for Pro Evolution Soccer 2009 but came back empty-handed. Went shopping with Ming for stuff for his new flat, then walked to town to Zavvi, Gamestation and HMV for Pro Evolution Soccer 2009 again, but found it at £29.97 the cheapest. Still £5 over my budget, so decided I'd get it online instead. Walked home. The journey from George Square to my house took 25mins the last time I walked it, in the summer I think. It took 30mins this time as my bag was much heavier and I didn't want to walk to fast cos I hate getting hot and sweaty after stepping inside. Had dinner, (Cat's roast beef, potatoes and Yorkshire pudding) then watched more TVB with mummy.

Sunday 28th December: Went to the gym and worked on shoulders, legs and abs. Felt very sluggish and slow this particular morning. Spent more time sitting and resting than actually doing anything. Squats really tired my legs out. Couldn't complete three sets of dumbbell lunges later. Had lunch in the gym carpark before going to Glasgow Chinese Christian Church for the 39th anniversary and baptism service. Caleb and Dilane were baptised from the English Ministry, amongst the 8 brothers and sisters. After the service I had some food before going to cinema to watch 'Yes Man'. 'Yes Man' was a bit better than the last Jim Carrey movie I saw, which was 'Fun with Dick and Jane'. That was dire. This one was a little funnier but wasn't great. Nothing that original about it and also had a sexual scene in it involving an elderly woman. Sigh... After the film I dropped a few folk off then headed home for dinner. Chatted on the phone for a while :) Had work the next morning (today), so could only watch one episode of TVB's 'Love Exchange' later before hitting the hay.

Health plan

So I returned to the gym after a week's absence. I was sick last week you see. My 'annual illness' which I managed to avoid for the past 3-4 winters (praise God!) returned this year. Sore throat when swallowing, hoarse voice/ losing my voice, fever and ENT congestion. Despite fighting it and going to work on Thursday, I had to call in sick on Friday. The GP would always say it was "viral", that I "caught it from other people" and "it would clear after a few days". So I didn't make the extra call to book an appointment with him and stayed in stocking up in Vitamin C, drinking honey and lemon and praying and sleeping instead. I have fully recovered now. Thanks to those who prayed for me. :) Last night's news reported a 75% increase in the number of flu sufferers now compared to this time last year. Children and elderly are the weakest, so if you are not feeling too good, think twice before visiting your grandparents as you might end up giving them a present they really didn't want.

The gym was much quieter than the usual Tuesday evening. It was set to close much earlier as well. At 2120hrs rather than usual time of 2250hrs. I arrived at 1730hrs and was back in my car at 2050hrs. Had about 3-hours of hardcore workout to catch up with lost time from last week. Alfred Wong didn't come last night so I was working out myself.

Worked on middle chest, biceps, triceps, abdominals, lower back, upper chest, triceps, forearms, back to biceps, legs, lats, press ups and triceps again before retiring in for a shower. Arms felt like lead by the end of the night, and still do! But at least I know they have time to heal and grow in the next few days as I won't be back until Sunday when I will be working on shoulders and legs primarily. It feels good to be at the gym. My physique is something I take pride in. Not in a boastful way, but I am very happy with the progress I've made in the past year. I have come a long way compared to 2 years ago for example.

January will be a new year and a time for a new training schedule as well as fitness regime. I have new plans for the new year too, which goes something like this...

- Gym three days a week (same as now)
- No crisps (not had any since Pringles in HK in March!!)
- Less fatty foods, more meat
- No snacking outwith meal times
- In bed by midnight every night!!

The last one will probably be the hardest to stick to cos I always get tempted to stay up whilst on Facebook, eBay, or gaming. But yeah, need to exert self-control. Cos lack of sleep weakens the immune system and weakens your defence against virus and infections. And medical people reading this can correct me if I'm wrong. Also, sleep is the best time for the body to recover from the pounding of a workout. So if I want my muscles to grow healthily, I must sleep healthily. :)

First post

So, first web posting before the new year. As expected really. I do have a lot to say, a lot to share. But instead of just talking rubbish I just want to write about my career path.


Currently I am at work. Seated at Desk 50 in an open-planned office. Around me are a Dell computer which I am typing on, connected to a LAN internet connection via ethernet, Siemens phone system to my right. First Aid at Work certificate is pinned on the partition / wall to my right with eleven of my favourite pictures from Hong Kong. When I am down I look at these pictures and they remind me of the great time I had in Hong Kong this March with mum, the people we met and some of the food we ate. Ok, enough of that. We know UK cannot beat HK in anything, but maybe the NHS and welfare system. Besides that, the UK has a lot to catch up on. Only last month did the Glasgow transport system introduce mobile phone signals in a selected few of the popular subway stations. A project that was introduced back in winter 2006! So right now, customers of the O2 network can send and receive mobile signals in five of the busiest subway stations dotted around Glasgow - Buchanan Street, St Enoch, Hillhead, Partick and Govan. It certainly is a cheer for some progress that we've finally made in the West. From as far as I remember, it had always been possible to make and receive calls whilst travelling on the MTR system (Hong Kong) or MRT system (Singapore). So why did we have to wait till now? And when can I, as a Vodafone customer share such privilege too? Ok, enough about that. Back to 'career'.


It's funny how a piece of writing can suddenly derail like that. One thought can indeed lead to another and so on and so forth. Not much has changed in this office since the first paragraph. The atmosphere is calmer than usual. There are people already on Christmas holidays so the people who are still working are bursting with the festive spirit. Yeah right! Lol! The office closes 1500hrs tomorrow. So it would feel like a half day for some people who finish at 1800hrs. I always finish at 1700hrs so will only benefit from the extra 2hrs at home. Still, it's better than nothing. Tesco Extra, the ones that opens 24hrs usually, will close at 1800hrs. So at least I'm not there. My career...yes. So right now in this HR company called Hewitt, I outsource my payroll and IT services to our client Marriott. That's all I want to say, or probably can say about it. Not sure where my limits are in disclosing stuff over the net. I have been here since October 2006 after being made redundant from Ford Customer Relations which was based in the City Centre. I praise God now this office is literally 10-minute walk from my house to the backdoor of this building. It is also just a 2-minute drive. Though I quite enjoy this job, I do not see myself here for long. In fact, I do not want to be here for long.

For many years I've been wanting to pursue the career of a driving instructor. My passion developed as I realised I enjoy driving, I like teaching people, I like leading people and I seem to have the patience for it too (so some people tell me). Is this patience from me? Or is it from the Holy Spirit? Either way, I am thankful to God for it :) For a few years this idea just sat in the background as I was a little apprehensive about taking the risk of paying for the expensive course. I thought of myself as being too young - most driving istructors are middle aged, most not all. And also I wanted to go travelling and see the world a bit before 'settling down' and becoming career-focussed. I have been to Toronto, Hong Kong, Singapore, Malaysia and Hong Kong again.

April this year I turned 25, a quarter of a Century. For me it was more than another birthday. I took time to assess where I am in life and where I want to be. I realised it was time for a change, a positive one. I decided to take the plunge and GO FOR IT! So I signed up to AA School of Motoring (as opposed to BSM - there are various reasons for this). And I began my training course, which is all done in my own time outwith my current full time job. I passed my advanced theory test on Thursday 7th August this year, which consisted of 100 multiple choice questions as opposed to standard theory test of 50 questions. I had to pass 80% of each of the four different categories in order to get an overall pass. I praise God for the first time pass.

As for my advanced driving test. Well, that has not been as smooth-sailing (or driving) as the above. The first attempt failed because of another driving who drove right to up my car whilst I was performing the reverse around left corner. We both sat stationary for about a minute (felt like the longest minute of my life!!) before he decided to pull out and overtake me. But because he did that he was on the opposite side of the road and that endangered his life, the examiner explained. Failed on that, with six minors ONLY. I am only allowed a maximum of six minor faults in the advanced test. The normal test will still pass you if you do not exceed fifteen.

The second test was called off because of a rear brakelight failure which was only discovered whilst the examiner asked me the standard safety questions like "where is your engine oil and how do you check it's level?" etc. Well he asked about my brake lights when we discovered one was blown. Safety concern. Test cancelled and rebooked.

The second attempt failed because I was overtaking a vehicle whilst entering a motor. I saw a sign ahead saying "Max Speed 50" so I capped my speed at 50mph to avoid getting a minor for speeding. The vehicle on the left lane was going about 45mph so I was not overtaking quick enough to get back in when a white transit van sped up to me on the right lane around 60mph or so and had to slow down, but still breathing down my neck. I was of no danger to him or anyone else. I did not pull out suddenly to make him stop. I was driving at 50mph according to what sign I saw. However, the examiner said because I stopped another vehicle from making progress, that is a fail, at this advanced leve. Sigh! But listen! (yes, there are always buts!) that guy was breaking the speed limit though!! Nope, still a major fault. Let others drive however they like, as long as you know the law and stick to it. Test rebooked.

Third test was my third (and last attempt). The Advanced test can only be attempted a maximum of three times and you have to take a two year break before you can resit everything again. So I hyped myself up to pass this time round. Got to the test centre in ample time. Sat down and was informed by the examiner (the same brake light and motorway incident guy) that the test had to be cancelled due to the amount of snow and ice around. They had hoped the sun would melt more snow away, but it did not happen by the 1030hrs. So off I went back into the car and drove to ASDA to go shopping with mum. I was quiet peed off really.

'So... what next?' I hear you ask. Well... the test... my FINAL attempt! is booked for the start of January. I feel I have maintained my high standard of driving whilst I wait for this date to surface. I have not told many people about the date because frankly I am sick of retelling all these reasons for the delay in my progress. Also I don't want so many eyes to be hopeful of me and how I do on the day only to let people down at the end. Yes, I know of the four reasons above, two of them were completely out of my control (brake light and ice). But it still contributes to the frustration and the 'shame' of failure.

Having said all that. I do feel God with me throughout this process. Before each of my tests, I pray and ask God not for a pass, but for the Holy Spirit to be with me, His peace in my heart. And that was what I got each time I entered and left the test centre. No doubt there were moments of sighing and questioning, that is human nature. But at the time there was calmness and certainty within, reminding me that God is good, that everything is in control. If anything, this long-winded process will help make me into a more patient person. Make me a better driver. Help me appreciate each step that I take towards achieving this goal of my life. When that day comes, it will be so much sweeter for me.

Prelude

I am currently at work. It was busy yesterday, but has been quiet so far in this first half hour.

I want to jot down my ideas for a new blog site where I will be keying down my thoughts and feelings, like a diary. Yes. I haven't used a diary since I was in high school I think. Later in college I used a planner and then when I was working the paper planner became electronic as I started using my phone to note down future events that needed my attendance or attention. And today, I want to go back to jotting down the happenings in the more advanced web-form!

There are many memories that we hope to store in life but which we forget. Occasions we wish we could easily store in our heads and replay as easily as double-clicking on an mpeg file on the laptop, or an mp3 file for those who said something nice to us. But unfortunately, the human brain can't store as much as we'd like, especially when we start ageing and begin to dement.

Nonetheless, this blog is for me to record down those things that matter to me. The things I don't want to forgot, or maybe do want to forget. The good times, the bad times and the impersonal stuff like world events and how I view them. More importantly, I want to talk about my journey with God. How each day I am challenged to be more like Jesus. How I feel I succeed or how I think I have failed.

The areas that I will blog about and 'label' as they call it on blogspot are:

Career - I will take you on my journey to becoming a driving instructor and beyond
Love - I might update you on the matters of my heart whilst looking for the one in my life
Property - I will advise on how I work and save hard towards getting a place of my own
Health - an update on how I am getting on in the gym, working out and shaping this temple of the Holy Spirit
Family - family life of the man of the house, living with two lovely women
Films - review any films that I watch
World events - may talk about any hot worldly topics e.g. credit crunch, terror attacks

Of course, within each of the above areas I will be noting down how I feel God is working on me through them. I feel I want to officially start this weblog on the 1st of January 2009 - you know, a new year, a new start etc, but it might just start before then.

Watch this space!