A man after God's heart

King David was described as a man after God's heart in Acts 13:22:

"After removing Saul, he made David their king. God testified concerning him: ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.’"

That is what I strive to be also. I want to walk close to God and I want to live a Spirit-filled, Spirit-lead life.  What I strive for is simple, but it is not easy to achieve.  Sometimes there are many things that distract me and takes my focus away from God.  Sometimes the closer I am to God the stronger the temptations or the "bad things" happen to me.  From what I understand, this is the devil's doing, trying to bring me down and away from God.  However, I know I should stand firm for God.  I know should flee from the temptations. I should lift my eyes up to Jesus and draw strength from Him.

I want to honour God in all areas of my life.  The things I do, I try to bring glory and honour to His name.  Just sometimes I am not sure if it is enough or if I'm doing things the right way.  The three areas of my life which matter to me the most are: career, health and heart.

Career

Entered into a career as a driving instructor where there is no stable income.  Income can go up and down according to popularity and ultimately it's all at the mercy of the weather.  Long summer evenings means more work.  Snow, frost and adverse weather means being housebound due to health and safety reasons.  However, I remember the verses in the Bible, Matthew 6:25-26:

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"

Although my income and popularity can fluctuate, I have peace in my heart knowing that the Lord will provide somehow.  That He will not let me go hungry and that I can continue my 'working to live' and not 'live to work'.  Driving tests are not easy things, they get harder and harder each year.  Every driving test pass I thank God for. There are certain test passes which I have witnessed first hand God at work.  Being in this job with no steady income, no paid holidays etc, I can be rely on God day by day.  With no backing of a national driving school, I am left pretty much on my own.  However, I know God is with me every step of the way and I am at peace and willing to be a testimony of His great love for me.

Health

I am quite a health conscience person.  Since 2003 I have been very conscious about the effects food and exercise can have on the body.  After losing almost three stones in around six months in 2003 I did not want to go back to my old looks.  It was in 2004 when I had my first girlfriend.  Prior to that, nobody was ever interested in me.  Many had ran away from me after knowing I liked them.  So besides chemistry, I believe my looks definitely helped get me noticed and attention from the opposite sex.  So think, why would I ever want to return to having so much flab on me?  In the past two to three years I have been looking into ways of enhancing my looks through body sculpting.  I would not really call it body building because I associate that with really buff guys with huge muscles, more like Arnold Schwarzenegger or Dolph Lundgren.  Body sculpting would be more like Jason Stathan, possibly Jackie Chan: muscle definition without the big bulk.  Being called Big G, I feel I should live up to my name and be Big.  As I blogged before a long time ago, being health conscious and having a decent size has it's benefits.  First, eating healthily will help keep my heart healthy and keep it running for longer.  Also, my body is the temple for the Holy Spirit.*  I should try to live and eat 'cleanly'.  When I train at the gym, I know ultimately I am relying on God given strength to complete my sets, my reps and my laps.  With my bigger size I am able to serve Him through physical stuff like moving equipment, setting things up as well as blessing fellow brothers and sisters in Christ by helping them move house etc.

*1 Corinthians 6:19:
"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own"

Heart

Ah this one is very important.  So much to say about this one, but don't know what to say at the same time.  Hmm...  Ultimately I want to settle with a woman of God.  Someone who shares the same passion for Christ.  A relationship where we encourage each other's walk with God.  Some say it is important to marry into the same class.  I've even seen couples who work in the same line of work.  But where can I find a Chinese Christian female driving instructor?  Haha!  What about age?  Does an age gap make a difference?  How big a gap is acceptable?  If two people love God deeply does age, class, occupation and money really matter?  I would surely hope not, but what about stage in life?  How does one know what he/she wants in life if he/she is still at crossroads of their life and don't know which direction they are heading in?  What does God say about all this?  If only we live in simple Biblical times where everyone was a bit poorer (or so I'm guessing) and where people are more appreciative of the small things.  Didn't have technology advancement, didn't have undue expectations and pressures (or so I guess!).  Things these days can be quite complicated.

Praying to God and confiding in Him about waiting for the one whom he brings along.  Yes I can pray, but can I seek?  If I seek, does that mean I do not trust Him to answer my prayers?  If I pray and then do nothing about seeking, will He just miraculously drop someone down onto my lap? (Figuratively speaking!)  Prayer without doing anything... does that work?  Of course, if I'm asking God for Chinese Christian girl as a life partner, there are plenty whom I know.  But which one is suited to me?  And I to her?  Which one will not look at my income, my status, my longing for a family, and not be scared away?  Which one will understand my need for attention and the need to feel special?  I can devote myself to this one who can give me the chance, but is there chemistry?  So many questions swirling around my head and heart.

Therefore I should remind myself that if I seek first the Kingdom of God, if I look to please Him above all else in life, He will bless me with things in the correct time and in the correct place.  I have faith in that.  I have hope in that.  I know He has plans to bless me, not harm me (Jeremiah 29:11) so I can rest assure He knows my heart's desire to be with a God-fearing life partner and I am pretty sure He will grant it to me.  Even if I do consider potentials, I should tread carefully and with discernment of the Holy Spirit.  I must keep a close walk with God and so to know what I can/should say/do in order to approach people safely and in a Godly way.  I should listen to the Holy Spirit and let the inner voice guide me.  Above all, take my time, don't rush in.  Think a lot, pray a lot.  And remember God is ultimately in control =)