Free to jump

How I long to be free from sin, free from bondage, free from troubles of life, free from worries of the world.  However, life can't be all plain sailing, can it?  Some stuff that trouble me I brought upon myself.  This I know and I regret, repent and turn away.  But have I let go?  If so, will it still trouble me?  There are times I realise I bring troubles and worries upon myself because I haven't truly let go.  I am still curious about certain things, and I check them out, and I let my findings 'affect' me.  This can be positive or negative effects.  Probably cos I still care.  I know if I feed my 'curiosity' there is a 50-50 chance I can be affected positively, yet at the same there is also the negative part to deal with.  What if?  It's still a big risk isn't it?  50-50 chance of making the wrong decision.  Sometimes you take the plunge: you hold your breath, you close your eyes, go by faith and jump!  The moments you are in 'freefall' feel very surreal.  You've done it.  You've taken the gamble.  You've taken the risk.  This 'freefall' moment can last for any length of time: seconds, minutes, days or months (you get the drift), then just like a parachuter when you fall pass all the clouds and the air clears up, you start to see which 'landing pad' you will end up on.  Remember it's 50-50.  You chose to take the leap.  Nobody pushed you.  You had the time to think things through.  You jumped knowing you might land on gold or you might land on manure (just random examples guys!).

The jump

I took that jump.  In fact, I take these "jumps" every day.  We all do.  Mini "jumps" or big "jumps", they are still risks.  The "jump" I took recently has landed me in manure and I can't blame anybody but myself.  I am heavily disappointed.  I really thought the 50% of "gold" would be enough for me to land on.  But no, I ended up in manure (I'm not in trouble, don't worry, again just example words).  What can I do?  Once I can stand up and get out I will catch my breath (it's gonna smell reaally bad) and I will start cleaning myself off these things.  Cleaning the crap off.  And hope that the stench will wear off after numerous showers, scrubbing.  But that's gonna be of no help if I wear the same clothes that I wore when I fell into the manure.  How can I be free from stench if I clean myself yet still put on the old stinky clothes?  Decision: get rid of the old clothes too.  In fact, burn them.  Get something new.  Be free from the stinky clothes.  Tonight I have decided to do that.  Burn stinky stuff...

The title of my blog is My Life's Lessons.  Well what did I learn from this?  Well, here's what I learnt.  Stick to what you know best.  If you take a long time to trust someone, to take a risk with them, then just keep doing that.  I changed my ways of doing things and took a "jump".  That's why I now stink.  Lesson point of the day: "Do not trust easily, Gordon!".