Coldness

This blogging business is not an easy thing to keep up.  Effort is required to put thoughts into writing words and how to chain those words into sentences that make sense.  Have been busy this week but here I am wanting to blog again and say Hi to everyone.  =)

Have been thinking just few moments ago, "why am I blogging?"  Do I blog for myself?  Or is it for other people?  Is it cos I know there are people reading from around the world?  It is cos there have been 6332 hits on my page since it was created at the end of 2008?  Hmm... I think it is a mixture of both.  Cos I initially started this blog as a "diary" sort of thing.  I remember pre-warning everyone there might be words of honest that might shock you or upset you, but I'll write what I want.  But at the same time, whenever I type up a post I do use the backspace button quite a lot.  Not just for spelling mistakes or grammar, but to remove stuff that I don't think "appropriate" to display to the world.  But then again Gordon, who are you afraid of?  And why?  Ack, I don't know. I think it's am image thing.  The fear of destroying that "good guy" image of myself.  The fear of giving a bad impression being a Christian man, or that of a driving instructor.  Yes, at the end of the day, I do consider how people think about me.

Isn't it sad?  I think it is a little.  I mean, sometimes I wish I could say and do whatever I want.  However, there are always other things that I consider too.  How will people feel if I said this?  What would they do if I did that?  I try to make sure people around me are happy.  I try to look out for those who are alone or needing attention, but might be too shy to ask etc.  When I can make people happy, then I am happy.  It gives me a sense of "accomplishment".  In other words, I put people first very often.  A good thing perhaps.  However, at the same time I find that I deny myself very often too.  Many a times I feel one way, but say another just to help ease a situation.  Many a times I want to do one thing, but do something else just to help someone or make sure someone is safe.  Classic example - I hate complaints.  Repetitive complaints from repetitive patterns of behaviour that has the same outcome.  In my laymen terms it is described as "you reap what you sow!"  For example: A - "I am so tired!  It is making me soo moody!".  B - "Oh, why?  Did you not get enough sleep?".  A - "No, I didn't get to bed till X time cos I was out (*doing something useless*)".  B - "Did you forget you had work/ uni today?". A - "No, I didn't forget.  Just didn't feel like sleeping/ Just had so much fun!"  Well, well, person A, in all honesty, you chose not to sleep for work or study the next day.  It comes as no surprise sleeplessness can cause irritation as it affects concentration and reactions etc.  So you should be aware of your own actions and even if you are in a bad mood because of your own decisions, other people have not done anything against you, so should NOT be feeling the wrath of your mood swings.  So bite your tongue (not literally), and just smile and get on with what you're supposed to do.  Then look at the source of your problem (lack of sleep) and look to solve it - Get more sleep!  Simple!  Am I just being a typical guy here who sees a problem and tries to solve it?

It's the same with bitching and stuff.  I mean, girls complain more than guys, it's true.  They have bitching sessions too!  Whereas when guys get together it's more of a positive thing - guys watch movies or play on the games consoles or talk about cars, or does some DIY etc.  Maybe on the odd occasion they will talk about girls and have a laugh.  However, bitching and gossiping?  What's the point?  I really don't get it. Just be honest with the person you have a problem with - get any issues out in the open and sort it out.  Some personalities don't get a long.  Some don't have the chance to get along.  Fine. That's life.  But if there are clashes, then at least solve the immediate problem then try to avoid clashing again.  Maybe easier said than done, but certainly sounds less complicated than holding on to "issues" in your heart all the time.  It's tough you know.  Free you heart of these unwanted issues.  Learn to forgive.  Learn to take the first step.  Life is for living!  Not for harvesting negative thoughts and wrong-doings etc.  God has forgiven us, so we can forgive other people too, right?

Anyway the title of my blog..."Coldness" just describes the past two weeks.  This morning the air temperature was -8C again according to my car's trip computer. I so didn't want to get up, but having a driving lesson at 11am meant I couldn't sleep in too long as I had to get up and shower and shave as well as have breakfast and brief myself of the Springburn area.  The showering and shaving part is just part of my ordinary day's routine, however, with FROZEN PIPES in parts of my building it meant there was NO WATER supply for the kitchen side and since our hot water tank is in the kitchen it meant no hot water through the bathroom taps!  Fortunately the electric shower produced hot water for bathing and, well for shaving too.  Made the task more challenging of course.  The pipes were frozen since yesterday morning, but thank GOD the water came back this afternoon after a neighbour called the Factor out for a visit. So that made preparation of dinner much easier tonight.  Whereas yesterday mum and I had Asia Style takeaway so to avoid cooking and washing up.  Also so much could get a well-deserved rest after work =)

Another thing about this coldness is how it affects the roads for drivers and pedestrians alike.  Sigh!!  Wonder when this "cold snap" would be over.  C'mon!!  If I weren't a self-employed driving instructor I would not be affected so much.  But even in this below freezing weather where lessons are cancelled and driving tests are postponed, I still have to pay the same franchise fee!  Argh!!  Ok, don't worry Gordon.  God will provide.  He will take care of you  =)

Ok, off to read the latest edition of Men's Health magazine now.  =)

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