Resolution Tested

In less than twenty four hours after I blogged about my New Year's Resolutions it was put to the test.  I mentioned about being Fearless for God and sure enough yesterday I had the opportunity to prove how much I meant it.  It was at our English Ministry service when Aaron invited us to share how God has been good to us in the past week, past month and the past year.  A few people shared how they've experienced God's goodness and I shared how I was thankful to God for blessing me with a great time in Dublin in the past week.  Aaron then asked if I wanted to share about how I felt God spoke to me through Scrabble one night through "JOSHUAB".  So I began sharing the story from where I was originally standing, at the back of the hall, but Aaron invited me up to the front to share so people didn't have to crane their necks.  It was a little unexpected shock as I am not good at public speaking, even making announcements are a bit daunting and sometimes heart-pounding.  But I saw this as an opportunity to overcome my fears with God's power and because ultimately it brings glory to God's name.  So I smiled and I went up to the front and shared the story...

"JOSHUAB"

It was on the evening of Thursday 23rd December when a group of us played Scrabble after Christmas dinner.  At the start of Scrabble each player grabs a handful of seven word tiles from the bag to begin.  I took out seven letters and whilst I sorted them out I managed to spell out the name Joshua and still had a letter B left.  So I stuck it on at the end to make JOSHUAB.  I was very surprised that I got this word and showed everyone else and we had a laugh.  There is a book in the Bible called Joshua so I was quite intrigued to read if there was a message in there for me.  Since the word I had was JOSHUAB I thought it looked like Joshua8 and decided to check out Joshua chapter 8.  Here's how it started at verse one:

"Then the LORD said to Joshua, “Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Take the whole army with you, and go up and attack Ai. For I have delivered into your hands the king of Ai, his people, his city and his land."

I've recently been going through some difficult times with the bad weather affecting my income (finances have taken a pretty hard hit which I really saw tonight) and some challenging issues with matters of the heart.  I've had to make some difficult decisions as well and overall it has been quite a discouraging time.  But the part of the verse which really stood out to me is at the start where it said do not be afraid, do not be discouraged.  The rest didn't apply to me directly as it was about a time of war where God said to Joshua to bring people up for an attack.  However, Joshua was at that time facing a challenging time of having such a big task to do, to take an army to conquer another city.  But because the Lord assured him everything was ok he went ahead and did it and everything went in his favour.  So I believe this verse did not appear out of the Scrabble bag by coincidence.  I believe there was a message on it for me and God is telling me that although I face challenging times and I might be scared, that He will still be with me and when I do things His way, everything will be ok.  =)

I hope I managed to encourage people with my short sharing.  It was unplanned and it was certainly not shared with any pride on my behalf, but what I boast of is God's power.  I share as a person who is sinful, broken and lost, yet God can still speak to me.  If God can speak to me, He can speak to you too.  But are you listening or aware of His presence?  =)

So I definitely need to carry this verse around in my head and remind myself of it when the going gets tough.  Cos today I was carrying a heavy heart to work.  And at times I wanted to give up and back out.  But I know I should carry on for God.  I remember the sacrifices we make for God will never go unnoticed.  He will always see that things that we do and reward or punish accordingly.  God is a just God.  During my breaks in between lessons the lyrics to a Christian song also came to mind: "A broken spirit, and a contrite heart, Lord you do not despise" and later I found the song on Youtube.  It's a song we have sung before at English Ministry, and I which I played a few times on guitar when Boon lead worship.  The song is derived from Psalm 51: "My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, you, God, will not despise".  That describes how I feel inside, but I know seeking God first and putting my troubles before Him and humbly myself to Him is what He likes.  Therefore that gives me strength to not give up when the times are hard.  For those who want to hear the song (again) the video is below.  (Thanks Youtube!)



On a lighter note, I managed to put some money into my new piggy bank today.  "Saving for a rainy day" is reads on the sides of its belly.  Well, it's actually raining now.  =P