Meet and Greet

I have no idea why it still feels so chilly when it reaches evening time.  We have reached the end of April already and the weather should be improving day by day.  The daylight has improved for sure, as we are seeing daylight much earlier in the mornings and for longer periods of the day.  However, the temperature still seems unstable.  Ah well!!

So in the past week I've managed to get to bed by 10PM most nights.  Not every night I must confess.  Sunday night and Monday managed 10PM.  Monday morning I felt amazing with eight hours of sleep and noticed that I didn't yawn at all throughout the day until about 2PM!  And that was even after workout first thing in the morning as well.  Sleep is so under-rated!  Tuesday night I think I managed 10:30PM.  Wednesday I went Go-karting with a bunch of fellow driving instructors.  It was Scotkart at Clydebank and it was so much fun!  Got home not very late, about 9:50PM I think, but it was too close to bed time and it was impossible to 'switch off' just like that so I went to bed just after 11PM.  It went downhill from there basically cos Thursday night I came home pretty late and ended up missing the gym on Friday morning.  Not to fret, as I made it back up yesterday morning doing circuit style exercises for 45mins and then getting home for breakfast before starting work.  All in all, I do totally feel the benefits of my sleeping plan of 10PM-6AM.  I want to try it again this coming week although I have a pretty busy week of work ahead of me, with the latest finish of 8PM in the west end one evening.  I don't like finishing so late as it usually means I cannot get to bed on time especially after I eat a little something once I get home.  Ah well, we'll see what happens eh.

I think I'll sign up for the Men's Conference 2012 at Destiny Church on the 16th of June.  The conference runs from 9AM that Saturday morning and ends in the evening time.  I would imagine it would be a whole day event for Christian brothers studying the Word of God together, having fellowship and praying together.  Guess I'll make new friends there as well.  One thing I've realised about myself recently is that I need to expand in my circle of friends.  Due to the 'isolated' nature of my job as a driving instructor, where I have no colleagues per se, where I am 'on my own' most of the time, it does limit my time of socialising and communicating with others.  And by the time my working day is over I retire back at home where I just see my mum and sister.  There is not much chance to really hang out with friends.  Sundays are the times when I get a break from work, and I get to see brothers and sisters in church.  However, the time spent is short and sometimes I feel there is not enough time to build quality friendships.  So I'm seeking the Lord's direction as to what to do.  As I grow older it is important to maintain an open mind and an open heart to get to know other people, to branch out and accept others and be accepted.  I must not be a hermit nor so inward looking.

So the lesson which I've (re)learnt in the past week is that, it is ok to go up to talk to people.  I have got to be less shy.  Wednesday I had the opportunity to meet other driving instructors, some of whom I have never met.  At first it was a bit daunting, the idea of meeting and racing with other instructors whom I didn't know.  But it only takes the first line, "Hi, I'm Gordon!" followed by offering your hand for a handshake, and the rest seems to flow.  By the end of the night we all broke the ice and everyone seemed very friendly and we had a great laugh.  Saturday night, we had an evangelistic event in church.  There were many new faces there, especially from Mandarin service.  I managed to speak to one Mandarin dude whilst we were still setting up.  Due to English limitations the conversation was quite short.  Just before the event began I plucked up the courage to greet three younger people: Anson, Alison and her sister Elaine.  It was to my shame that it was the first time I ever spoken to Alison as she has been in EM for around six months I think, and I hadn't ever spoken to her or the friend she comes with.  But talking to them yesterday was totally fine and not as scary as it might seem.  Tonight, at Destiny Church I managed to talk to a lady called Linda after the service.  We had a good conversation about how nice Destiny Church is with how it is managed, the work it does locally and globally and how it has changed so many lives.  I felt very refreshed and encouraged tonight and well rested.  Although Destiny Church in the southside it not very local, but it is definitely worth the travel down to worship with so many others.  Looking forward to attending Destiny Church services more frequently.


Lesson of the Day: Take the leap and greet people.  It is not so scary!!

Spoilt

Had my first ice cream tonight.  Was an unplanned thing.  Haha!  Was ok la.  Felt it was quite sweet.  Maybe cos I've not had any this year.  Think my last taste was ice cream was back in Three Steps to Heaven on Byres Road.  But totally forgot who I went with and what I had.  Lol!

Is it ok to "spoil" someone?  I think it is ok.  Because our Heavenly Father spoils us so much each day.  Not that I am God, but indeed, if I am blessed so much by Him I think it is nice to bless others.  Also, "we love because He first loved us."  (1 John 4:19)  :)

However I should be aware that I am blessing and loving for the right reasons.  That it is with Godly intentions.  Sometimes we set out to do something with Godly intentions but there might be an element of personal intentions involved.  I am aware of this, hence bringing this up.  There should be a careful line drawn to avoid any mix up or confusion.  Above all, I know when I do something I should try and do it so it brings glory to God.  Can't always turn out that way, but I try :)

Here's an example of God spoiling me.  By His grace two more pupils passed their driving tests this week - Monday and Wednesday.  Great results and delight all round.  However, that also meant I lose two more pupils.  I haven't been worried though about pupils because first of all, I could do with a little rest but also I know the Lord will always provide for me.  Even the birds in the air survive on the Lord's provision.  Sure enough tonight on Fb chat, a former classmate pinged me and asked about driving lessons.  He lives not far away actually, in the east end.  Would be a pleasure teaching him and helping him out.  He took lessons last year and stopped at the end of the year and have not picked it back up again.  Hope to help him as I have helped other pupils.  This is how God can bless me and knows what I need.  The first lesson with this new pupil will be 27th April as I am fully booked up until then with lessons and driving tests.  Praise the Lord!  =D

If it is to last...(part 2)

Tonight went quite well.  Weather was nice.  Conversation flowed.  Food was so-so.  Wasn't as expected but at least the company was good.  Made all the difference.  =)  Learnt a few more things as well.  Ok, noted for future reference =)

Feeling quite privileged and I know it is by the grace of God that I am.  Impromptu worship session was nice also.  Quite a funny and nice feeling.  Nerves were nowhere in sight.  Felt very peaceful.  Nice one!  :)  Still, take it easy.  If it is to last... the Lord must come first.

James 1: 17 - "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."

I am grateful Lord for what I have.  I am grateful for what you have blessed me with.  I fully trust in You with all my life and know You are in control of everything.  Therefore I shall not think too much or do too much.  Lord, I cast it all unto You.  Amen =) 

If it is to last...

If it is to last, I must submit it to the Lord.

If it is to last, I must stay level-headed.

If it is to last, I must do things differently.

If it is to last, I must pray more.

I must seek first His kingdom and maybe this will be added unto to me.

If not, I should not mind, because I should look to please God above all else.  It should always be His will over mine.

I want this, but I want to please God more.  He knows what's best for me, even better than I know myself.  Keeping close to God really keeps me going, in all aspects of my daily life.  On my most taxing times I look up to the heavens and draw strength from Him.  He's truly amazing and awesome and my sole Provider.

I am confident He is my Provider, my Consultant, my Compass.

I am excited yet calm, surprised yet still, eager yet patient :)

Hate the sin, love the sinner

The above phrase "Hate the sin, love the sinner" replayed in my head a few times yesterday and today.  I think I started thinking about some stuff after a conversation on last night in fact.  Was quite random but still thought-provoking.  Then I realised why I've been feeling the way I've been feeling recently.  And a wee voice reminded me of the above phrase, telling me to live it out, not just to recite it.  Yes, Lord, I will.  I will make changes with Your help =)

Then tonight an unplanned visit to cell group had me join the group as they studied the Beatitudes taken from Matthew's gospel chapter 5 verses 3 through to 11.  We looked at verse 9: "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God."

So we discussed what being a peacemaker is like, where does the peace come from?  Many people see peace as absence of conflict, absence of war etc.  Jesus gave us the peace, the Shalom.  With this peace we should become peacemakers.  In order to do this we i) need to find peace within ourselves.  Some of us have issues with self worth and/or we blame ourselves for things.  ii) we need to sort out bitterness with each other.  iii) we need peace with God.  Through Christ Jesus we are peace with God so we should strive to maintain a healthy relationship and walk with God.

It was the second point that really struck me.  It really tied in with the phrase at the start of this post.  I think there has been some bitterness inside me from recent events.  A grudge of some sort.  And these negative things actually get in the way between us and God.  Between me and God.  And you know what?  Right at this very moment I recall my devotional time with God this morning.  It talked about the Lord's prayer where Jesus taught us to say "Lead us not to temptation but deliver us from evil." (Matt. 6:13)  The devotional sharing extract I read:

"Keep in mind too that the devil will take full advantage of any bitterness in us.  That is why total forgiveness is essential if we are to be delivered from his [devil's] power.  Satan exploits bitterness and grudges.  Paul said, 'I have forgiven in the sight of Christ... in order that Satan might not outwit us.  For we are not unaware of his schemes' (2 Corinthians 2: 10-11).  As the New Living Bible puts it, 'A further reason for forgiveness is to keep from being outsmarted by Satan.'" - from "The Excellent Way", R.T. Kendall, 9 March 2011.

It's amazing how God can speak to us through so many different channels.  For me it was a phone conversation that kicked it off and had me thinking about stuff inside.  Then it was my personal time with God, again reminding me about bitterness.  And then in a group setting where I study God's Word with fellow brothers and sisters in cell group.  How amazing is that!

My prayer

The message is loud and clear God!  Submit the bitterness and negativity over to You and let You take them all away.  Forgive me Lord for holding anything back and letting these things get in the way between me and You and between me and others.  Please help others to also forgive me and not feel bitterness towards me either, nor block me from Facebook.  Yes, Lord, you know this is something that hurts me and I know I have done wrong and sinned against You too.  I should not view such thing as important or more important than the security inside of me knowing I have been forgiven by You and that's what matters most.  I should not care about other people's opinions of me but care about what You think of me the most.  Thank You, Lord for Your love, grace and mercy.  I pray this in Jesus' name, Amen.

Took the leap

My first Sunday where I was neither playing in the worship team nor doing PA or transportation for the EM Service.  So instead of wasting this valuable spare time I went to the gym for 9am opening time.  Did a fifteen minutes run on the treadmill before stretching and started my workout with deadlifts.  Managed to reach 100kgs for six reps.  Will tackle it again next time.  Then I did chin ups and dips.  Barbell curls and barbell extensions.  Then ended with kettlebell extensions and rope pulldowns.  Got good pump on my arms  =)  Then jumped down to the steam room and jacuzzi for a while and hung out with a buddy.

After careful consideration, conversations, prayers and deliberation I decided to go for the car I saw on Thursday.  Back then I didn't want to rush into making a decision.  Didn't want the salesman to pressurise me into getting the car just because he wanted to make a sale.  I went to Machargs after church service today and after discussion with the salesman and later the general manager, I felt at peace in my heart and took my hand out for the handshake.  The price tag of the car could not come down but I managed to secure some good discounts and freebies and I thank God for that.  Definitely leeway from both sides.  Obviously the dealership will always come out better off but I was glad I managed to do some calculations as well.  Looking forward to next Thursday.  =)

China Buffet King

Went to China Buffet King for Gary's surprise birthday dinner.  He originally thought it was just a casual hangout in town like what usually happens after service.  But we all managed to keep it quiet and when he found out he was very surprised and seemingly very appreciative.  I haven't been in a buffet place for a looong time.  Can't believe the last time I let myself pig out.  I went for the less 'damaging' foods like chicken, pork and mussels etc from the upstairs buffet.  And the hotpot I mainly went for fish balls, beef slices, pork slices, tofu and salmon etc.  Was quite filling but not over full.  Couldn't eat any more in the end because my Highland Spring still water ran out and I didn't want to buy another bottle!!  Sick!  The place didn't even serve tap water to customers.  I didn't want to break my three months avoidance of fizzy drinks so I asked for water and just still water instead of sparkling.  Lol!  =P

Beauty... has to be admired from afar as always =)

Free to jump

How I long to be free from sin, free from bondage, free from troubles of life, free from worries of the world.  However, life can't be all plain sailing, can it?  Some stuff that trouble me I brought upon myself.  This I know and I regret, repent and turn away.  But have I let go?  If so, will it still trouble me?  There are times I realise I bring troubles and worries upon myself because I haven't truly let go.  I am still curious about certain things, and I check them out, and I let my findings 'affect' me.  This can be positive or negative effects.  Probably cos I still care.  I know if I feed my 'curiosity' there is a 50-50 chance I can be affected positively, yet at the same there is also the negative part to deal with.  What if?  It's still a big risk isn't it?  50-50 chance of making the wrong decision.  Sometimes you take the plunge: you hold your breath, you close your eyes, go by faith and jump!  The moments you are in 'freefall' feel very surreal.  You've done it.  You've taken the gamble.  You've taken the risk.  This 'freefall' moment can last for any length of time: seconds, minutes, days or months (you get the drift), then just like a parachuter when you fall pass all the clouds and the air clears up, you start to see which 'landing pad' you will end up on.  Remember it's 50-50.  You chose to take the leap.  Nobody pushed you.  You had the time to think things through.  You jumped knowing you might land on gold or you might land on manure (just random examples guys!).

The jump

I took that jump.  In fact, I take these "jumps" every day.  We all do.  Mini "jumps" or big "jumps", they are still risks.  The "jump" I took recently has landed me in manure and I can't blame anybody but myself.  I am heavily disappointed.  I really thought the 50% of "gold" would be enough for me to land on.  But no, I ended up in manure (I'm not in trouble, don't worry, again just example words).  What can I do?  Once I can stand up and get out I will catch my breath (it's gonna smell reaally bad) and I will start cleaning myself off these things.  Cleaning the crap off.  And hope that the stench will wear off after numerous showers, scrubbing.  But that's gonna be of no help if I wear the same clothes that I wore when I fell into the manure.  How can I be free from stench if I clean myself yet still put on the old stinky clothes?  Decision: get rid of the old clothes too.  In fact, burn them.  Get something new.  Be free from the stinky clothes.  Tonight I have decided to do that.  Burn stinky stuff...

The title of my blog is My Life's Lessons.  Well what did I learn from this?  Well, here's what I learnt.  Stick to what you know best.  If you take a long time to trust someone, to take a risk with them, then just keep doing that.  I changed my ways of doing things and took a "jump".  That's why I now stink.  Lesson point of the day: "Do not trust easily, Gordon!".

Nosy people

I should watch who I open up to sometimes.  I think a storm is now brewing.  I think I am about to suffer repercussions over stuff I've said during a moment when I felt trust and when I let myself be vulnerable.

I might be wrong though, but the feelings I get inside is of nostalgia.  Nostalgia, not of the good kind, but the kind that makes me wanna say, "What the heck!  Not this again?  Why this all over again??!"

I wish people will leave me alone.  Why can I be left alone?  Why do people have to mind my business and ask questions or ask to speak to me?  I've done it all before.  Been there, done that.  Doesn't work.  Why do I have to meet people that I don't want?  Am I too soft?  Can't I say no??

Of course I can say No, but then I will always think what if people think I have something to hide?  In fact I have nothing to hide.  Whatever you ask of me you will get 100% truthful and honest answers.  Ok, I will arm myself for that.

Just don't ask questions if you don't think you can handle the answers.  And once I give my answers, just take them, digest them and leave.  Don't come running back with questions or whatever.  You had the opportunity to ask more at that point.  Accept me for who I am and move on!

Ultimately... I think all this trouble stems from one source...

Ganjue

Wo xianzai ganjue dao hen lei.  Xin li hen zhong.  Yuanying ye shou bu chu lai.

Wei shenme you zheyang de ganjue?  Wei le gongzuo?  Wei le ganqing?  Wo zhen de bu mingbai.

Shen ya.  Ni zai naar?

A devotional to share

(Taken from Upper Room Devotionals 20 Aug 2009)

CHILDREN have fun blowing the seeds off dandelions and watching them float away in all directions. Sometimes the children are disappointed when the fun is over; they want the heads back in one piece so they can experience it all again. But no amount of glue could put a dandelion together again in the way it was created. This dispersal of the dandelion head occurs for a reason: it maximizes the chances of one of the seeds finding a suitable place to set down roots and continue the life cycle. The simple act of letting go and allowing the forces of life to propel it is an integral part of the life process for dandelions.

When life blows us in new directions or propels us into a new stage, we often become uneasy. We may try to cling to the familiar rather than holding on tightly to life and allowing change to carry us along new paths. Fear of the unknown overwhelms many of us, preventing us from enjoying life in all its abundance. However, God calls us toward new horizons, new adventures, and new paths.

We may feel at times as if we are being blown apart, just like the dandelion head. God, however, already has a place prepared where we can put down roots and bloom afresh.

Meg Mangan (New South Wales, Australia)

Lord, as our paths change, help us to seek your guidance. Help us to put our trust in you, wherever we may be. Amen.

Life's winds blow us to new places and toward new growth.

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