Passions

Been having one of those reflective moments just now.

Was thinking about how short life is, how we shouldn't waste our short time on the Earth.

It got me thinking about using the time wisely and pursing our passion(s) in life.

I was thinking about the passions in my life.  And my one deepest passion.  The one thing I think about every day.  Upon waking up.  Just before sleeping.  The one thing that even keeps me awake at night sometimes, for thinking so much about it.  The one thing I search about on Google and YouTube.  The one thing I receive daily emails about.  The one thing that is constantly rolling out of my tongue/ mouth.

I think about it whilst working.  I think about it whilst sitting here.  I think about it whilst eating.

How do I pursue this passion?  Have I left it too late?  Am I too old for this?

Lesson of the Day: "If you have ever felt such tremendous enthusiasm and desire for something that you would gladly spend all your waking hours working on it, that you would happily do without pay, then you have found your passion." -- Sharon Cook & Graciela Sholander

An encouraging email received...

"Everyone makes mistakes, everyone has a past. We have to forgive
ourselves, because Jesus is our redeemer and lifter of our head. Don’t
carry the pasts in ourselves and learn to love ourselves. Don’t define
ourselves by our pasts. As Paul said, we have to forget the things
behind and pursue the things in front. When we spend time with God, we
can soak in His unconditional love, accept His forgiveness, and
receive His grace. When we truly repent, the guilt will be gone from
us, as Jesus’s blood have cleanses us from sins. That’s why we thank
Jesus for dying on the cross for us because there is our forgiveness,
and we don’t have to punish ourselves. He has done that for you.

God accepts us unconditionally, all the judgement, all the anger, all the
wrath of God has been poured on Jesus Christ. We have to change our
mind about ourselves. When we love ourselves, we can say that “I’m
blessed because of God”. If we don’t love ourselves, we will say
things that slander ourselves and also slandering God ie “I’m not good
enough”. The devil always try to make us think negatively about ourselves
and put us down or hate ourselves. But God said, no! Learn to love
yourself as I (God) have loved you, soak My unconditional love. 

We need to love ourselves, and hence we can love others and give
compliments to others, as well as confidence in our everyday life. God
wants us to praise Him and feel blessed by His grace, and change into
the man He intended us to be." - copy and pasted with slight editing by myself.

A very timely email received this evening.  May you all be blessed by this also :)

Lesson of the Day: Don't give up, as God never gives up!

Spiritual match

Anne Healy (Pastor Healy's wife) was right when she spoke at last Sunday's service.  The sermon theme was on Mother's Day and somehow there was connection to finding love.  She mentioned how important it was to wait for the right person to come along to become your life partner.  She shared about her own story, how before meeting Pastor Healy she was previously engaged but the engagement broke down along with her relationship with her then fiance.  A friend said to her, "I'm very glad this relationship broke down and this ended."  She was very distraught and did not understand why her friend had said this.  Her friend explained that she felt the man was not right for Anne.  Her friend felt that the man was not Anne's "spiritual match".  Those two words struck me on Sunday.  It kind of summoned up my whole life.  It explained why things are the way they are.  It seems I have never found my "spiritual match".  And whilst this revelation dawned on me, it also made me realise that I myself may not have been a good "spiritual match" for anybody either!!

So what does this mean?  How does one 'gauge' this spiritual level?  What do we use to measure or compare?  Being a Christian man seeking a Christian woman as a life partner, I should be able to provide spiritual support for my partner.  But what "spiritual level" should she be?  Should I be seeking a life partner with "spiritual level" equal to or less than myself?  Or how would things work if the woman has a spiritual level "higher" than myself?  Would I still be able to lead spiritually?  Does it work the same way as for example: income or education?  Will discrepancies in spiritual levels cause conflict or awkwardness as it may for the two examples?  Hmm...

Do any single guys reading this, ever think about this matter?  You might want a life partner and hope to find her soon.  But have you thought whether you can provide for her spiritually as well as physically and emotionally etc?  I do not feel I am spiritual enough to be honest.  Nor do I feel I am rich or intelligent.  What does that mean...?

Don't give up

It was quite funny.  This morning I was watching a random video on YouTube by Jayesslee.  The video was "I won't give up" by Jason Mraz.  I think it was link on my Facebook News Feeds.  At the end of the video it showed a verse from the Bible, taken from Galatians 6:9 -

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." 

Do you ever get the feeling that sometimes it is very difficult to be "good" all the time?  That it is difficult to be "nice" all the time? Sometimes I feel that going out my way to please others is such a tough thing to do.  When I do these things, I always remind myself that I am making a difference to somebody's life, to somebody's day, and it is worth it.  However, some of the time, if not all of the time, I am the one losing out.  And then I get frustrated, I get upset, and I feel that the person got "what they want" but "what about me?".  Does anybody else feel that?

God teaches us to selfless, to "consider others better than yourself" - Philippians 2:3

I find it very tough sometimes and really need some encouragement.  I was quite surprised I got it after watching the video.  Yes it was random but sometimes that is how God works.  When you least expect it.  What I am encouraged by is that the Bible tells me that if I continue doing good - and I presume this encompasses my Christian duties as well as life in general - that eventually something good will happen out of it.  Here's hoping.  Cos I sometimes do feel very tired of it all.  Smiling when I don't feel like it.  Being helpful when I am busy.  Going out of my way for others.  But in the end I look foward to the hope I have in God.  =)



Lesson of the Day: Keep doing what you feel is right.  It might be tough, but will be worth it in the end.

One in, one out

I found the above delivery card on the kitchen table when I got home after work this evening.  At first I was not too sure who would have sent me something through Hermes.  I had not heard of Hermes before, nor could I immediately recall if I were expecting any deliveries.  Then after a few moments, I remembered I had ordered a new laptop bag for my Samsung laptop.  I will be going down to Grantham in Lincoln to see my good friend Ian and his fiancee Leanne this Thursday.  Will be away until Sunday.  I am planning to bring my laptop with me for this trip as I will be going down to discuss their wedding plans with them and meet Leanne's family.  I think I will need the laptop because I will be taking photos and videos and most importantly will be making notes and plans for my role as the Best Man!!  Oh my goooodness!!  Can you believe it?  Ian asked me to me his Best Man for his wedding in July the 7th!!  I was and still am very honoured, however, the thing that scares me the most is the Best Man Speech!!!  =O  7th July.... today is 6th March... Wow! Just four months to go!  Then on 16th July it'll be Cat's wedding!  ANOTHER speech!!  =O 

Anyway, back to the laptop bag.  If you click the picture above you'll see the Swissgear laptop bag I got for my 17" Samsung computer.  I still have the 15" bag which I put my old Toshiba in, but putting the Samsung in does not give it any protection and it is very umcomfortable as it is the single strap shoulder bag type.  Far too obvious that it is a laptop bag and is not easy or convenient to carry around.  This laptop bag looks waaay more comfortable and has so many different compartments for me to store stuff like my other gadgets, important documents etc.  One great thing about it is, it has a stabilising design which keeps the bag upright so it does not fall when put down.  Good stuff!  I find sagging bags quite annoying, like something that does not have any backbone, forever crumpling.  Lol!  This looks like a bag to last a long time and I'm glad to pay the price.

So, I missed the courier twice apparently, but this was the first card I saw.  So I got in touch with "Alan" and asked him to deliver between 8AM-12PM tomorrow.  He said he will come by then.  Great!  That is the time I will be home tomorrow... because... the plumbers are coming!!  =D  Sooo looking forward to meeting these professionals!!  So looking forward to having a "normal" bathroom/ toilet.  Will update y'all in due course.

And finally, as my title suggests, I want to share some good news.  This morning I had a pupil Nelson sitting his driving test.  As we approached the test centre I got a text message from a new number.  She is called Ellen and said she was referred by my friend Esther for driving lessons.  I was joking to Nelson in the waiting room.  I told him "See, a message asking for lessons with me.  If you pass, I'll have room for her.  If not, she'll have to wait."  This was a friendly yet positive push for Nelson.  I was feeling positive about him and his test and was also quite glad with the examiner he got.  So off he went to sit his test whilst I waited in the waiting room, said a prayer for Nelson and later calling Ellen to discuss her requirements etc.  Again I told her the same thing, when my pupil passes I'll have space for her and will make arrangements.  Nelson came back about 40 minutes later.  I approached the car and I saw through the window the driving examiner was writing on the blue driving test pass certificate!  Whoo-hoo!!  Amazing!  Thank the Lord!  So happy for Nelson and he was so glad to pass too!  =)  What does "one in, one out" mean?  Well, I believe the Lord definitely provides for every single thing.  He knows what we need and knows just when to give it to us.  "One in" would be Ellen coming in.  "One out" would be Nelson leaving after he has passed.  I was originally going to title this post "One out, one in" as that is what usually happens.  However, this time God blessed me with before I was without.  Hallelujah!

Lesson of the Day: The Lord gives and takes away.  In any order He pleases.

Refiner's Fire

Malachi 3:2-3

"2 But who can endure the day of his coming? Who can stand when he appears? For he will be like a refiner’s fire or a launderer’s soap. 3 He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver. Then the LORD will have men who will bring offerings in righteousness..."




Lesson of the Day: Submit yourself unto the Lord and allow Him to refine you, to burn away all your impurities, so that you may come out pure, clean, without blemish.  Let all the impurities be removed in the heat.  The time in the fire will not be nice to endure, but be assured that everything will work out in the end and in faith you will come out greater, stronger and mightier for the Lord.

Passage of the week

1 Peter 5:6-10

" 6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

 8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

 10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. "

It's You

The first blog post of 2012.  Strange time of quietness after a string of posts from before Christmas.  Truth be told, I was plagued with serious issues since the New Year.  Sometimes history repeats itself.  Sometimes your past can come back and bite you in the behind.  Sometimes things can also happen and you cannot explain why.  But one thing is for sure, there is no perfect person on this Earth.  None but Jesus.  The only person to have walked this Earth who never once sinned or commited any crime or hurt anybody.  For the rest of us, well ..."for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God..." (Romans 3:23).  Nobody is exempt from being hurt or from hurting people.  That is the nature of sin and it affects all of us, everyday.

My recent battle affected my emotionally, psychologically and mentally.  Ok, not psychologically, that sounds a bit dodgy (I am NO psycho!), but yeah definitely emotionally and mentally.  It affected my sleep so much as well that I would lie in bed and toss and turn because my brain was in overdrive, asking myself questions, replaying scenarios, experiences etc.  What the heck!  And this overdrive kept me up, in the dark, with no one to talk to.  And the worse thing was, often those nights were when I tried to sleep in good time for gym the next morning.  So as a result of the broken sleep I would not be able to get up in time for the gym, or woke up to see bloodshot eyes in the mirror and then gave up and opted for the bed as a safer option.  I had to listen to my sleep deprived body.  My training was affected all last week, which meant this battle affected me emotionally, mentally and physically.  Really, it was terrible.

I am truly thankful to the trusted confidence of a Christian brother whom I can spit everything out to (not literally!).  Spilling the beans provides a way of release that is hard to explain.  Receiving some empathetic Godly counselling really helps too.  Prayers are good and I needed them throughout my battle.  But having someone listen is like so amazing that I think Catholic brothers can agree with me when it's a bit like Catholic confessions.  Just having someone listen to you.  Don't have to say much, but let you tell everything.  It's really cool.  I am very thankful for it.  Ok, I am going round circles saying the same thing.  Haha!  Anyway, after yesterday's Godly counsel and later prayer, I left with the burden lifted off me.  My head raised up higher and I can see God clearer again.

God provided a way for me to find another truth within what was happening and once the truth was revealed, again I found another sense of release with a sense of relief.  There is goodness in this world after all.  Yup, there is definitely hope in humanity.  Whilst God is around us, there is always hope!

This afternoon, whilst on a driving lesson, I smiled my first smile for this year.  Yes, my first genuine from-the-heart smile.  Everything up to now has been forced, has been faked to cover up what I was feeling inside, but this afternoon it was as if the skies cleared up, and everything was "all as it should be".  I guess a sense of God's peace bestowed upon me.  It was amazing!  =)

The song above is called "It's You" by Parachute Band.  I came to know it through EM worship, both singing it and playing it whilst serving.  Initially to me the chorus sounded more like an ordinary love song singing about "it's you, only you" etc.  Even when I was playing this song on guitar, I felt like it was a love song for those loved up people there.  However, during my time of darkness I had this song playing in my car (among other Christian songs) and this song really struck my heart when I sang along to it and thought of the words I was singing.  The lyrics are amazing if you read/ listen to them.  The song is about total surrender to God, asking God to break down our walls, as we give him our all and how He wants our whole life.  The chorus really made me cry, but I really had to hold back the tears because I was driving towards a driving lesson.  The chorus: "It's You, only You, who can see beyond the pain.  Only You, who has made a way."  Man, on several occasions I could not sing these words without welling up and stopping midway.  Those words really described me and what I was going through.  Nobody would understand but God.  The second verse asks God to take our plans away as we humble our hearts to Him.  Definitely something I aim for this year.

For the year 2012 I really want a year of total surrender to God.  I have made so many plans for my own life thus far.  For 28 years I have hopes and dreams and desires which I wish to follow and make happen for myself.  Some have "succeeded", some have failed.  Along the way I have learnt very valuable lessons, but at the same time there have been lots of hurt involved as well, both for myself and others.  So I want this year to be a year I reestablish a much stronger relationship with God.  I want Him to take control of all areas of my life: my career, my health, my family, my relationships, my friendships and my servanthood to Him.  Let me walk each day seeking God first and put His plans as priority over mine.  Nobody is more important than God.

I therefore want to use this song "It's You" as the theme tune for my year 2012.  I'd like to end by sharing the lyrics of this song so you may read / sing along.  I hope everyone is having a good year so far and feel blessed by the Lord everyday.

IT'S YOU - PARACHUTE BAND

VERSE 1
TAKE DOWN THESE WALLS
TAKE DOWN THIS PRIDE
TAKE DOWN THE STRENGTH I’VE BUILT INSIDE

VERSE 2
HERE ARE MY FEARS
THIS IS MY SHAME
THIS IS THE ME I’VE HID AWAY

PRE CHORUS
ALL YOU DESIRE, IS ALL OF MY LIFE

CHORUS
IT’S YOU, ONLY YOU
WHO CAN SEE BEYOND THE PAIN
ONLY YOU
WHO HAS MADE A WAY

VERSE 3
TAKE DOWN THESE PLANS
I’VE MADE ON MY OWN
I HUMBLE MYSELF BEFORE YOUR THRONE

VERSE 4
FLOOD THROUGH MY HEART
BREATHE INTO MY SOUL
RUSH INTO ME AND MAKE ME WHOLE

BRIDGE
BREAK DOWN THESE WALLS
BREAK DOWN MY BRIDE
HERE I AM, HERE I AM
BREAK DOWN THESE WALLS
AS I WALK IN YOUR LIGHT
HERE I AM, HERE I AM

Compliments

Received a compliment from a personal trainer at the gym this morning.  He was impressed that I could do the Hanging Windshield Wiper exercise.  I can't do it full range yet but between the pillars of the Smith machine and even then it really works the core esp the obliques.  I told him I started doing windshield wiper exercises on the floor first before even attempting the hanging ones.  The PT said he might try it when are less people looking, said he thinks it will be hardest to get the legs up in the air to start with.  I told him I was surprised I could do them the first time (only found out I could do them about two weeks ago, so now is my new hobby which I try to fit in to each session I'm in =P).

The compliment was nice and although it wasn't a big comment that "brightened up my day", it did give me positive encouragement whether the guy meant to or not.

The recent verse of the day through my Bible app was from Proverbs 15:4:

"The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit."

What this reminded me of is that we humans like to give and receive compliments.  Well some receive more than give.  God has given us a tongue to help us speak and communicate.  Ideally to help build each other up by speaking the truth, spreading the Good News and encouraging each other.  The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life.  Speaking the right words to somebody can really encourage them and put some positivity into their day, or their life.  It can really make a big difference to someone who has been feeling very down that day.  To hear something nice about themselves.

Some people unfortunately "mis-use" their tongue through lying, slander, (non-constructive) criticism and general negative comments.  Things they say are sometimes with anger, hatred and malice.  Those hearing such remarks will be negatively affected, whether you like it or not.  Even at a party setting where everyone is having fun.  It can take as little as one negative comment from someone to "kill the mood" of the party.  So we must be careful how we speak to people.  And try to make sure what we say is more towards positive.  Of course, if you are feeling low yourself there is no need to pretend to be happy happy.  But we should watch how we present ourselves otherwise.  Do we gossip?  Do we back-stab?  Do we divulge secrets?  Do we "slag" people off sometimes?  I am guilty of the last one sometimes.  When everyone is having a laugh about something or someone, I do feel tempted to join in 'for a laugh'.  But at the end of the day, I am aware there is a limit.  That I should not be doing it because God wouldn't be too happy about it.

Just some sharing about what I got from my Verse of the Day.  =)

Back after a while...!

Haven't posted for ages, since middle June, wow!  So much has been happening in my life, both good and not so good, but mainly good.  The Lord has always been good to me even though sometimes I forget to put blessings to blog, but I do my best to note down these blessings on my 'Grace Book'.  I must remember to give thanks for all that He has given me.  Our gratitude not only pleases God but indeed will be an encouragement to those who hear it, believers or unbelievers.  =)

Throughout the past few months I've been busy with work.  Work has had it's ups and downs as well.  The requirement of patience towards pupils and the endurance of working in a metal box under the blistering sun has never been greater.  Last summer I innocently worked wearing polo shirts and tee shirts and ended up with a tanned left arm whilst the right arm was noticably lighter.  Lol!  What's worse was, there was also a tan line difference from the top of my shoulder as well!  No, cannot have that!!  So this summer I've been wearing thin long sleeve tops whilst working.  It certainly adds to the heat at times, but at the end of my long shifts I don't remove my shirt to find horrible shades around me.  Haha!  Doesn't look good at the gym either all these weird tan lines.  However, having said that, I did get sunburnt at a recent barbeque in the back garden of a church auntie's.  I had put on sun factor 30 but that was apparently not enough to withstand the sun's rays between 3:30PM-8:30PM.  By the time I was about to leave some areas of my skin were in red shade and again noticeable to others who commented.  =S  Once I got home, my my, how red was I??!  Tan lines created by the singlet I wore to the barbeque.  I avoided wearing an ordinary tee shirt knowing the sun would be mega strong that Monday, so wanted to catch more rays.  However, I think my skin requires much higher sun protection.  SPF50 perhaps?   I cannot remember how I managed to survive Singapore, Malaysia and Hong Kong during my visits there.  And I didn't even wear singlets then.  Lol!  =P  Ah well, at least I have two long tanned arms and they are even in tan!  LOL!  =P

I'm now on Week 11 of a twelve-week training program called ATHLEAN-X and it has helped me lose lots of bodyfat whilst building more lean muscle and I have been so glad of this program.  It's definitely the first of it's kind to have such positive results on my body.  I am so proud of this program, it's unique ideas and the results it gives me.  I am frequently talking about this program to everyone I come across and I have bought all three of the ATHLEAN-X tee shirts and post up videos on my Facebook as well as it's well worth looking into for those who are interested in looking athletic.  I will definitely be sticking with and recycling this program as part of my daily workouts.  Due to my work schedule, starting at 10AM every morning (barring Sundays), I can only free up time in the early mornings somewhere between 6:30AM to 8:30AM.  I don't train for much more than an hour anymore like I used to.  The old concept was train longer, train harder, gain harder.  Nope, now my understanding has improved and my knowledge broadened to realise it is much more effective to train with high intensity in low time.  How does that work?  Well perform the sets and reps with as short breaks between as possible.  This keeps the heart rate ticking over thus burning up more calories and more fat.  And boy has it made a different to me.  The training program works on the whole body a lot and has two days of conditioning (not just conventional cardio) per week, leaving three days of training with weights.  It has helped bring out my abs as well.  Ooh yeah!  Having received some positive comments from people who noticed my shape also adds to the fact this program is great!  If anybody is interested to know more about this training regime, just give me a shout.  It is totally drug free and is great fun.  Just takes on average 40 minutes of your day five days a week.  How cool is that!!  =D

So I thank God for giving me the willpower, endurance and perserverance to get this far with the program.  The early mornings, getting up at 5:55AM when the buzzer alarm goes off, have not been easy.  Sometimes I do feel like giving up and flopping back down into bed and snuggling up.  But I push on and once I'm out the house the crisp fresh air helps awaken me and shifts me back on focus.  I thank God for the many safe journies to the gym each morning through the extremely quiet trip to the gym and the rush hour drive back home for breakfast.  I thank God for my injury-free training as well and I hope I am able to keep it that way.  I hope I can keep going from strength to strength both physically and spiritually.

The past few weeks I've been coming back to God as prior to that I let the busy-ness of work and working out distract me from spending time with God.  Finishing work late, having some light dinner, washing up, doing admin, spending 'some' time on Fb and before I knew it, it was nearing midnight and I definitely needed to sleep in order to get up at 5:55AM the next morning.  But praise God for calling me back by His side again.  A story which I shared regarding Psalm 127.  I hope everyone is encouraged by this verse and remember, no matter what stage of life you're at right now: whether it's enjoying summer holidays, seeking direction in life, job hunting, partner hunting, going through sickness or tough times, remember that Jesus loves you very much and God is in control of everything.  We must cast all our anxieties unto Him.  God is our Maker and with Him, through Him, nothing is impossible.  Seek first His kingdom and all things will be added unto you.  I was seeking and I have found... =)  God is able.  God is good.

Elated

Have not updated in a long while.  But since I have an unplanned four hour break I thought I might as well put thoughts onto paper, or in this case, onto text.  Haha!

I felt very happy last night.  The feeling of elation, the moments where everything seemed so nice, so peaceful and 'as it should be'.  It is hard to describe, but I'll try and break it down.  Hmm... where do I start though?  Lol!  Ermm... ok, dunno how to say this without sounding like I'm bragging, so I shall stay as level-headed as possible.

I had a reaaaaally nice dinner last night.  It was not just a run of the mill eating out dinner, but a home cooked meal.  The menu had what I like in it too: chicken (protein), egg (protein), tom yum (spicy), pork ribs (protein + fat) and later some home baked chocolate dessert too.  I'm not one for dessert usually, but boy was I taken in by the food presented to me.  Seeing the production process I could appreciate the amount of effort put into the meal.  It was not easy.  I think I would have been all flustered or struggled a bit.  Haha!

Each spoonful I had I ate with a smile which resulted in a funny looking face each time I chewed.  Haha!  I truly appreciated everything.  Helping wash up was the very least I could do in response to such kindness.  Immediately after dinner there was some musical performances too.  I enjoyed the music very much and whilst listening I was very impressed inside.  Wow!!  I was invited up to play some piano as well.  Was made a piano partner in a very simple piece but very nice.  Ok, my part was very simple, though I struggled to get my head around how to do it for the first five minutes, but once I got the hang of it, everything seemed to flow.  I am a slow learner you see.  I may take several shots at something before fully getting the hang of it.  But once I do, I stick to it and become better at it.  I think my personality is like that of a train - slow start up but with a very powerful drive afterwards.  Boom!!!  =P

Anyhow, those moments playing the piano, absorbing the air, listening to the music, laughing, smiling, focussing, making mistakes, starting again, laughing, making another mistake, finally getting it right... all seemed very very nice.  Hard to describe in words, but I think the word to use would be elation.  Yes, I felt elated.  I could just stay in that moment forever I think.  Haha!

All good things come from God.  God blesses us in so many different ways.  I truly felt blessed and I made that known to God at the end of the night.  These opportunities do not come by often, but when they do, I have to show appreciation to God and I have to give thanks to Him.  If it is His will, He will give other blessings to me too :)

Little pond?

He must have been a Godsend.  I think DD was right.  Maybe I have been looking in the wrong pond.  Big fish in little pond perhaps?  Time to move on I think...

It's amazing how God works though.  Just out of the blue out pops the question.  And of course, I gave honest answers.  I spoke my heart.  It's amazing how God can provide a counseller, a listening ear.  Someone to show concern.  I live at home with two women.  I don't have any senior guys to talk to conveniently.  After all, being Chinese as well, we are more 'conservative' when it comes to these things, usually.  I'm not that shy about these things, but just find it hard to find 'suitable' people to chat to.  So many people around me, all at different stages of life.

The prayer meant a lot to me.  Oh Lord, lead the way :)

Athlean-X Training System

On a different note, I have decided to change my workout regime and try out a new 90 program which is to help me develop more lean muscle mass.  Although currently I feel I am quite big in size and live up to my nickname Big G, I know I have a lot of body fat as well.  Too much in fact.  So this program, which has been vouched by thousands to have made a difference in their lives, is set out to give me different workouts every day for twelve weeks, along with an eating plan.  Follow it as closely as you can to get as better results as possible.  This would involve weight training Monday, Wednesday and Friday with conditioning (cardio) on Tuesday and Thursday.  Guess I can rest on the weekends.  Instead of slaving away at the gym for hours on end, each workout is designed to last about 40 minutes tops, leaving you more time to yourself yet having your heart beat just as much if not more than a long workout session.  The results should be seen within 3-4 weeks.  I am looking forward to this change.  New exercises to challenge the body and keep it guessing.

I will need to change some habits like try to get at least seven hours of sleep each night.  I will try to constantly drink water.  I will try to eat small portions every 2-3 hours of the day and keep my metabolism running high.  What else... erm... oh yeah, will continue using my mobile stopwatch to time my breaks between workout sets, making sure I don't slack when resting and take too long to get back into it.  Might mean no eating out for a good number of weeks too!

I took my weight this morning, one day before I start this program.  Most updated figures are:

212.2lbs - 96.2kgs - 15st 2lbs 

I shall update after a week I think.  Here's hoping I can get through this one week of training!  Haha!  If anybody is interested in seeing what this program is about, check out the link below!  =D

ATHLEAN-X

Hello again

Hey all!

Just thought I'd update a little post here since I've not said anything since.... 27th April!!!  Lol!  Time flies man!  27th April was two days before my 28th birthday!  Yes, my birthday was on 29th of April.  Oh my goodness!  I am 28!  That makes me one of the oldest member of the English Ministry in our church.  How amazing is that!  LOL!  Praise God though, that I am still of use in the church and can serve Him through different areas and I feel so honoured to be listed as one of the leaders of EM.  Sometimes time I feel so unworthy to be a leader.  I feel I have yet so much to learn and I want to develop my faith in the Lord.  I guess serving, seeking and learning runs hand in hand.  I want to mature in God as I mature physically.

In recent months I've been reminded of God's Sovereignty through devotions, how God's authority rules over all the Earth, that nothing and no-one can be more powerful than God.  Everything is in His hands, all things big and small.  It brings great comfort to know that the God whom I worship, whom I praise is the same God whom I can fully rely on and fully put my trust in.  I know no matter however my life unfolds, it will be alright, everything will be fine as long as I live according to His will, as long as I seek to please Him with all my actions.  So I have been a lot more conscious of how my verbal and physical communications can portray or display Christ.  I try to find ways to bring glory to God through what I do, what I say etc.  I can't say that I succeed all the time, but certainly He is on my mind a lot more these days.  And when my eyes are on Him more, I can certainly see His greatness and His Sovereignty displayed more and more around me and it is so encouraging!  =)

What else is new with me...?  Hmm... well I've just been working.  Oh yeah... work-wise, well the month of April was quite busy as it was my first month as an independent driving instructor, which meant I am no longer tied to a franchise agreement with a national driving school.  Been saving lots more in the weekly francise fee which equated to around £210 per week!  Yup!  Per week!  Regardless if I was working or not.  Well my weekly output these days are fuel and car washes.  How good is that!  I had spent lots on getting the car, the insurance, roof sign, business cards etc.  Basically to get myself started up.  So I need to wait a while before breaking even in that sense.  Saw the accountant last week for tax and accounts for Year 2010/2011.  Made a better profit compared to 2009/2010 but not good enough on paper to show banks for a mortgage.  He forecasts I should have a much better amount of income for 2011/2012 and should be able to apply for mortgages etc within two years, which is more promising.  Yes, two years sounds a bit far away.  My initial life plans were to be married, settled with life partner and a house by 30 years old.  Seems like that is not going to happen that way.  But then again, I submit my life to God and know that His ways are different from my ways.  So, Lord, take me, use me and mould me.  =)

Back to healthy eating again and getting more focussed with my gym training.  Been going to the gym at opening time of 06:30am nowadays.  It's much better going early when it's quieter (compared to after work) and then getting home early enough to have a decent breakfast, make packed lunch and even do devotionals before leaving for work again.  How I'd love to be able to do a workout, eat at the gym (nothing healthy there! and if I bring packed breakfast it will never be enough!) and then start work.  But that's not an option.  Guess morning is the only time I have for the the gym.  The time I have for myself.  Everyone else is in bed so I won't be disturbed and it is more of 'me time' before I start the day.  Take tonight for example, I finished work 9pm and got in at 9:15pm.  That's considered early, as I can be home as late at 9:40pm depending where the last lesson ends and if it runs over at all.  Anyways, Greens shut 10pm so if I don't go early hours I won't get any gym time at all!  =D  It feels great though to have the workout done early on so I can focus on the rest of the day and all foods that I eat will be burnt away due to increase in metabolic rate.  Does mean I get hungry oh so easily now!!  Haha!

So that's it really.  My life is pretty much focussed on these three things at the moment: God, work and the gym.  During the week I don't get to go out much as these three things fill up my week.  The weekends I get some opportunities to play.  Watch a movie in the cinema if I'm fortunate enough, might even have dinner with brothers and sisters in church after service.  It's nice to hang out and fellowship, to bless and encourage one another.  Thank God the weather has improved overall in the past few weeks.  No more blistering sunshine (which I am SOOO thankful for!) but enough light to give us longer bright evenings.  Lol!  Praise God!

Total fail

We all have our good days and our bad days.  Our ups and our downs.  Guess today was my "down" day.  Not all was bad, work was quite good today, praise God.  Both lessons went really well.  It was what happened between those two lessons that I am very disappointed in.  Felt very let down by my phone today, how the battery died on me moments before a scheduled meet up time.  I waited at the scheduled place but there was no show.  There were no signs.  I prayed that God's will be done cos without a phone meant no call, texts or internet, there was no communication and all that was left was prayer and trust in God.  God gave me the patience to wait.  I waited eagerly.  Tried to start up the phone again, but the said smartphone boot up takes longer than sixty seconds, therefore eating up more of the reserved battery.  Disappointing indeed.  Half an hour later bumped into someone whom suggested the appointment may have been forgotten.  Reluctantly I went back home to charge up the phone and powered up to check if everything was ok.  Everything was fine.  Apparently a text message was sent to me very near the time of meeting, but I still received nothing, even though battery was getting charged up.  So, no reply from me (because of no batt!) resulted in no meeting up.  What an epic fail!  Sigh...!  Everything else didn't matter.  My sallow face reflected my mood.  Total disappointment.

Nobody has any idea what this meant to me.  Ok, maybe God does.  Maybe it's His way of saying, "Son, give it up.  Submit to me!"  Arghh!!!

In my peed off mood, I shall no longer tolerate my phone having no battery, so tonight I went ahead with buying an in-car charger for my HTC Magic.  Very cheap, only £1.87 total price inclusive of delivery.  I can't believe this whole thing was messed up due to a dead battery.  I maybe should not have unplugged the charger at 97% this morning.  That 3% more power could have made all the difference to my day.... or could it have...?

Spoilt

Had my first ice cream tonight.  Was an unplanned thing.  Haha!  Was ok la.  Felt it was quite sweet.  Maybe cos I've not had any this year.  Think my last taste was ice cream was back in Three Steps to Heaven on Byres Road.  But totally forgot who I went with and what I had.  Lol!

Is it ok to "spoil" someone?  I think it is ok.  Because our Heavenly Father spoils us so much each day.  Not that I am God, but indeed, if I am blessed so much by Him I think it is nice to bless others.  Also, "we love because He first loved us."  (1 John 4:19)  :)

However I should be aware that I am blessing and loving for the right reasons.  That it is with Godly intentions.  Sometimes we set out to do something with Godly intentions but there might be an element of personal intentions involved.  I am aware of this, hence bringing this up.  There should be a careful line drawn to avoid any mix up or confusion.  Above all, I know when I do something I should try and do it so it brings glory to God.  Can't always turn out that way, but I try :)

Here's an example of God spoiling me.  By His grace two more pupils passed their driving tests this week - Monday and Wednesday.  Great results and delight all round.  However, that also meant I lose two more pupils.  I haven't been worried though about pupils because first of all, I could do with a little rest but also I know the Lord will always provide for me.  Even the birds in the air survive on the Lord's provision.  Sure enough tonight on Fb chat, a former classmate pinged me and asked about driving lessons.  He lives not far away actually, in the east end.  Would be a pleasure teaching him and helping him out.  He took lessons last year and stopped at the end of the year and have not picked it back up again.  Hope to help him as I have helped other pupils.  This is how God can bless me and knows what I need.  The first lesson with this new pupil will be 27th April as I am fully booked up until then with lessons and driving tests.  Praise the Lord!  =D

If it is to last...(part 2)

Tonight went quite well.  Weather was nice.  Conversation flowed.  Food was so-so.  Wasn't as expected but at least the company was good.  Made all the difference.  =)  Learnt a few more things as well.  Ok, noted for future reference =)

Feeling quite privileged and I know it is by the grace of God that I am.  Impromptu worship session was nice also.  Quite a funny and nice feeling.  Nerves were nowhere in sight.  Felt very peaceful.  Nice one!  :)  Still, take it easy.  If it is to last... the Lord must come first.

James 1: 17 - "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."

I am grateful Lord for what I have.  I am grateful for what you have blessed me with.  I fully trust in You with all my life and know You are in control of everything.  Therefore I shall not think too much or do too much.  Lord, I cast it all unto You.  Amen =) 

If it is to last...

If it is to last, I must submit it to the Lord.

If it is to last, I must stay level-headed.

If it is to last, I must do things differently.

If it is to last, I must pray more.

I must seek first His kingdom and maybe this will be added unto to me.

If not, I should not mind, because I should look to please God above all else.  It should always be His will over mine.

I want this, but I want to please God more.  He knows what's best for me, even better than I know myself.  Keeping close to God really keeps me going, in all aspects of my daily life.  On my most taxing times I look up to the heavens and draw strength from Him.  He's truly amazing and awesome and my sole Provider.

I am confident He is my Provider, my Consultant, my Compass.

I am excited yet calm, surprised yet still, eager yet patient :)

Blessed brothers

Had a really good evening tonight.  After Bible study I went to dinner with Vince and Gary.  The dinner was unplanned.  Initial idea was to go to Rumours, then we checked out La Tasca, a Turkish grill place, Mussel Inn and then finally we settled for Pulcinella on Hope Street.

The dinner was was quite impromptu, but I was glad we chose the Italian restaurant because we had good seats with lighting through the window and the glass entrance.  Red and white large checked table cloth and light wooden chairs gave it a nice Italian "homely" feel (reminds me of the Dolmio pasta sauce adverts).  The waitresses Italian accented English also completed the authentic Italian feel.  Haha!  Enough of these descriptions as I am not here to review the restaurant nor the food.  =P

We had a three course meal, and over the sharing of food we shared about our lives and how great God has been to us individually.  Besides being Chinese and roughly the same age, the biggest thing the three of us had in common was the fact that we were at a crossroad of our lives and God is leading us into new adventures.  We all had good news to share!

The good news

Vince will be going to China to teach English.  After months of praying to God for direction and not knowing where to go.  After facing a numbers of disappointments when doors closed on him, God has finally showed Vince where He wants him to be and provided this great opportunity for him uproot and move to the land of the unknown.  Obviously this is an exciting time for Vince, but also a very big move and one which really needs God's guidance and His presence.  I remember just a few months back Vince was saying how he felt quite lost at the crossroads of his life and was seeking God's will.  Aaron reminded him to "enjoy this time of sabbatical" and during this time God could be preparing something great for Vince.  Now here we are and we now know where it is God is leading him to.  =)

Gary was praying and seeking God's will regarding his career.  His heart's desire was to be a chef and he had applied for various jobs as a commis chef.  Also met with a few disappointing responses from applications Gary did not give up in applying nor in prayer.  Eventually last Friday he was given the opportunity of a work trial in a high class restaurant about ten minutes drive away from his house.  Although there was a slight mix up with the time of his arrival to the trial.  Although there were two other people doing the same work trial too.  Although Gary was asked to perform certain tasks he had not done before.  Despite all these things, he was offered the job over the other candidates!!  How amazing is that!  In today's world when it is so hard to find a job.  It's such a competitive market where sometimes qualifications and work experience could mean nothing because of job cuts everywhere.  But that did not stop Gary from getting the job.  When God is for you, nothing will be against you!  This is another story of God's awesomeness and a display of His amazing love and providence for Gary!  =)

It was a great evening of sharing about God's greatness and generally it was a very happy time at the table.  The restaurant wasn't too busy either so noise level was minimal and we managed to have good conversations.  I felt really at peace over dinner and felt God's amazingness.  The three of us at the table were at the crossroads stage of our lives.  We were all heading into new directions with God as our compass.

As for me, well I am coming to the end of my franchise with the national driving school AA.  I have been with them since day one, trained and qualified with them and then took a franchise from November 2009.  This will end on the 30th of March 2011 (this coming Wednesday).  During this time I have met a lot of fantastic people through the training and also as a qualified instructor.  God has been with me throughout the whole process: the theory test, the extended driving test and the most dreaded test of instructional ability.  When I felt at my lowest, when I struggled with things the most, God provided me with people who would give me encouragement, give me inspiration to fire me back up.  These included family, friends, Christians and non-Christians.  Throughout it all I was reminded that God has a plan to prosper me, a plan not to harm me but give me hope and a future.  On the day I qualified I knew I had nothing to boast but to boast in the grace and love of God for me and my future.  It was strongly affirmed that this was a path God wanted me to be in.

Working as a driving instructor has it's many ups and downs.  I found myself at the mercy of the weather on numerous occasions and it was mighty frustrating.  I ranted and moaned but ultimately I know God was still in control.  After being with the franchise for sixteen months I have learnt enough about the industry to become confident enough to start up my own business, my own driving school where I give tuition in my private vehicle and no longer rely on the franchise brand to help me attract potential pupils.  Truth be told, I have not had any AA-introduced pupils for at least six to seven months now.  Every pupil whom I've met have come through word of mouth, which again I put down to God's providence.  He has provided enough for me to sustain myself and I rely on that rather than rely on a national franchise.  "Going independent" has it's risks and I had carefully considered my options before deciding on sending the letter of termination to the franchise.  I then had to look for a suitable vehicle to give tuition in, install dual controls, find driving instructor insurance, order a roof sign and order accessories for the vehicle.  This is finally all complete after a hectic four weeks and I am now only awaiting my roof sign to arrive and everything will be all set for my to start my first day of a new business on Friday 1st April.

A new adventure

I am so looking forward to starting this new adventure as well.  God has been there throughout this setting up process too and helped me find the right car, getting a good deal, helped me find the right insurance at the right price.  He blessed me with instructor friends who'd offer lots of help and advice as I was setting up and when I was most frustrated recently and occasional self-doubt, He once again blessed me with reassurance that I can do it, that I have a good car, that everything will be ok!  :)

I am very thankful to God for His wonderful self and I am forever grateful.  Not one day goes by without me thinking of how amazing He is to me and I look up to the sky and smile.  I want to venture into this new journey with God and I look forward to the road ahead, wherever it might take me.  I won't have to worry because I know God will be with me every step of the way =)

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 

Hate the sin, love the sinner

The above phrase "Hate the sin, love the sinner" replayed in my head a few times yesterday and today.  I think I started thinking about some stuff after a conversation on last night in fact.  Was quite random but still thought-provoking.  Then I realised why I've been feeling the way I've been feeling recently.  And a wee voice reminded me of the above phrase, telling me to live it out, not just to recite it.  Yes, Lord, I will.  I will make changes with Your help =)

Then tonight an unplanned visit to cell group had me join the group as they studied the Beatitudes taken from Matthew's gospel chapter 5 verses 3 through to 11.  We looked at verse 9: "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God."

So we discussed what being a peacemaker is like, where does the peace come from?  Many people see peace as absence of conflict, absence of war etc.  Jesus gave us the peace, the Shalom.  With this peace we should become peacemakers.  In order to do this we i) need to find peace within ourselves.  Some of us have issues with self worth and/or we blame ourselves for things.  ii) we need to sort out bitterness with each other.  iii) we need peace with God.  Through Christ Jesus we are peace with God so we should strive to maintain a healthy relationship and walk with God.

It was the second point that really struck me.  It really tied in with the phrase at the start of this post.  I think there has been some bitterness inside me from recent events.  A grudge of some sort.  And these negative things actually get in the way between us and God.  Between me and God.  And you know what?  Right at this very moment I recall my devotional time with God this morning.  It talked about the Lord's prayer where Jesus taught us to say "Lead us not to temptation but deliver us from evil." (Matt. 6:13)  The devotional sharing extract I read:

"Keep in mind too that the devil will take full advantage of any bitterness in us.  That is why total forgiveness is essential if we are to be delivered from his [devil's] power.  Satan exploits bitterness and grudges.  Paul said, 'I have forgiven in the sight of Christ... in order that Satan might not outwit us.  For we are not unaware of his schemes' (2 Corinthians 2: 10-11).  As the New Living Bible puts it, 'A further reason for forgiveness is to keep from being outsmarted by Satan.'" - from "The Excellent Way", R.T. Kendall, 9 March 2011.

It's amazing how God can speak to us through so many different channels.  For me it was a phone conversation that kicked it off and had me thinking about stuff inside.  Then it was my personal time with God, again reminding me about bitterness.  And then in a group setting where I study God's Word with fellow brothers and sisters in cell group.  How amazing is that!

My prayer

The message is loud and clear God!  Submit the bitterness and negativity over to You and let You take them all away.  Forgive me Lord for holding anything back and letting these things get in the way between me and You and between me and others.  Please help others to also forgive me and not feel bitterness towards me either, nor block me from Facebook.  Yes, Lord, you know this is something that hurts me and I know I have done wrong and sinned against You too.  I should not view such thing as important or more important than the security inside of me knowing I have been forgiven by You and that's what matters most.  I should not care about other people's opinions of me but care about what You think of me the most.  Thank You, Lord for Your love, grace and mercy.  I pray this in Jesus' name, Amen.

By His grace

It was nice to spend time with God.  A time of worship to Him and looking through my guitar chords and playing some old yet so meaningful songs.  The songs that stir up nostalgia of the days of "young adults" group in the church.  The young faces who used to be around.  Most of them are gone these days.  Moved on to 'bigger and better things'.  Only a few of us are still here.  I'm one of them.  God has been so faithful to me all these years.  There is nothing negative I can say about God.  He is just so gracious and generous with His mercy.  The best companion I will ever have.  Though He is a close friend, I must not forget his Sovereignty and His power over us all.  His omnipresent, omniscient and omnipotent self overshadows all things in this world.  =)

Hurdles

An update on the business plan.  The car was sorted out last Sunday.  I pick it up this Thursday!  Oooh!! Excitement indeed!  That was the biggest hurdle to overcome.  No more leasing at least!  Next biggest thing is car insurance.  That has been taking slightly longer than expected and with limited free time during office hours it does resort to looking at stuff and applying online in the evening, like this evening.  Getting the cheapest quote for the right cover will be coming to an end soon.  Found the cheapest price so far tonight, something similar to my personal insurance premium when I was with elephant.co.uk before becoming an instructor. It's good as a consumer we get to compare prices and inform prospective companies of a cheaper quote you got elsewhere, therefore kicking off a price bidding war!  Haha!  Hoping for some great results like on Price-Drop TV!  Lol!  Once insurance is sorted out I'll most likely be looking at getting the accessories for the car like L-plates, possible roof box, decals/signs, and later sorting out my new stationery for the stuff I will be using and keeping.  Will no longer be allowed to us franchise related stuff you see!  Haha!

'Breasts'

It has just gone midnight and I will be going to bed right after this.  Gym is on the menu early morning again.  Tomorrow will be back and shoulders because I left out shoulders this morning whilst working on chest.  Now my pecs are worn out.  Haha!  I remember Nick used to call them his 'breasts'.  LOL!  So yeah, I had a pretty good 'breast workout' this morning!  =P

Going to bed tired but with a smile on my face.  I thank God that when one has gone, another comes along.  Must keep praying and seeking =)