Making an effort

Check this out. I've been sat here outside Chinatown since just before 9am for a lesson 9-10:30AM. Called pupil at 9:10am... Voicemail. Called her husband at 9:20AM... both still in bed. Pupil said will "be there ten mins". Getting from Ibrox to Cowcaddens via subway will take much more than ten mins!

How frustrating. Driving test next Monday and that's how she gears up for it. I made effort to start early for her and shortened other lessons to an hour to accommodate her. Back to back lessons today till 6pm so she can't get any over time with me.

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Ok, that was this morning.  Pupil eventually showed up, dropped off by husband.  Lesson went ahead and finished in the scheduled time as I had to get ready for the next lesson.  I really do my best to avoid knock-on effects on subsquent lessons.  Bit like the cinema.  If you buy a ticket for 9AM showing and you don't get to your seat till half hour or more later, then the film still finishes at the prescribed time.  This world is not TiVo.  It's only fair.  I have a business to run.  Isn't it ironic that I just talked about people being late for lessons in yesterday's blogpost, then this happened this morning.  A great example of "be careful of what you say".  Haha!

So I called the real plumbers this morning and arranged for them to come on Wednesday morning.  Woman on the phone cos I'm in Dennistoun they'll get here between 8:30AM-9AM.  I'm fine with that.  By the sound of things they can get the jobs done on the same day and I'd be happy to pay for the peace of mind and have everything settled once and for all.  Fortunately mum and Cat will both be at work, so it'll be just me who will see the workmen make the mess and do the stuff etc.  Hopefully I can clean up before I leave for work so when mum and Cat come home everything is in working order.  =)

I got up at 5:30AM this morning.  So early because I had to make my lunch and sandwiches for today's breaks between lessons.  Left the house after washing up and managed to reach the gym for 6:40AM.  Got my free towel from reception.  No idea why, but it feels so good asking for a towel now.  Maybe the novelty will wear off soon lol!  Is it because it is free that makes it more special?  Or is it because I know I have paid more towards my membership so I feel more special?  Haha!  Oh, I don't know.  But what I do know is I should continue working out hard at the gym.  Sweat buckets this morning especially as my new training regime has me doing 40 seconds of 'cardio' in between every set of exercise.  So I chose skipping in between sets and later burpees in between sets.  These are to keep the heart rate going and increasing fat burning action whilst resting between sets.  Effective stuff I tell ya!

Same again tomorrow.  5:30AM alarm is set.  Time for bed... after watching an episode of "Live of Omission" TVB drama.  I know it is from last year, but I have a few episodes before it ends so I will just finish it off.  Goodnight y'all!

Lesson of the Day: Keep working hard at whatever you do.  It will be noticed by someone somewhere.  Or the very least, by God.  =)

Unprofessional

Cat comes back from Singapore tomorrow.  I would have loved to have the bathroom fixed up before she came back, but that will not happen anymore.  As I mentioned on the just two weeks ago we were waiting for Plumber Three to come up to check the wee leak in our bathroom.  He did actually show up the next morning, came up to check out the U-bend, told me we need a new one and that he will also rod the pipes to remove any blockage.  This was a Tuesday afternoon he came up and he told me quite clearly that he would come back "next Wednesday or Thursday" as he was quite busy right now.  He said, "give me a call or text on Tuesday night to remind me and we will arrange a time for me to come up to get the work done.  I know you're a driving instructor, so you won't have to re-arrange lessons to accommodate me.  I live nearby (said the place) and can come in the later hours of the day."  And with that he left, without quoting any costs or whatever.  I was pretty pleased that he came up finally and we even had a chat about the Christian brother who referred him to me.  I told him that he was recommended as "reliable and competitive in price".  He was happy to hear that.

Tuesday finally arrived, this was three days ago now, 29th Feb, Leap Day.  I texted him in the evening around 7PM nicely saying I was asked to remind him to come up Wednesday or Thursday to fit a new U-bend and to rod our pipes and I asked if he was still available to come up.  No response.  So I copied and pasted the message and sent at 11PM.  Nothing again.  Wednesday morning (yesterday) I called him.  First attempt: mobile said the number was temporarily unavailable.  Second attempt ten minutes later: it rang and he picked.  He sounded distracted.  He said he got my text messages from last night but didn't get to reply.  Then he said he did not tell me he was coming up Wednesday or Thursday.  It was Thursday or Friday.  I said he did tell me to text him Tuesday for Wednesday/ Thursday.  He denied it, then said, "Well I'll call you tonight or Thursday morning and tell you when I can come up.  Ok.  Bye."  What the heck!!  I was actually very angry when the call ended like that.  He didn't hang up on me but I was angry because of his denial.  I was also angry that he did not seem to care that we waited over a week for him, only for him to shrug me off like that.  And you know what?!  Up until this very moment he has not called me back at all.  In fact, being the douchebag that I am, I actually gave him a call yesterday around 2PM.  I called his number, it rang a few times then he diverted me to his voicemail.  I didn't leave him a message but texted him once more asking what time he was coming up.  Nothing.  Na-da.  Silence.  =(

So I have resorted to going for a professional plumbing company.  I have spoken to them already on the phone.  They told me how they can send workmen out by 08:30AM the next weekday morning.  That is amazing service.  I have no doubt about this reputable company and I look forward to dealing with them this once and trust they will get everything done once and for all.  Money, is not an issue.  Peace of mind and TRUST is of the utmost importance.  I will update y'all with good news once the job is done.

Lesson of the Day: If you want a job done quickly and properly, use PROFESSIONALS.  Don't just jump to referrals, cos although they might be "good/ reliable" to one person, they might not treat you the same!!

Phone hospital

My phone is away for repair.  I put it into S3 Interactive in Clydebank Business park this afternoon.  What's wrong with it?  It took me long enough to find out, cos it wasn't that obvious.  Basically everytime I make an ordinary outbound call and talk into the microphone, the person on the other line can hardly hear me.  I've had a few people comment that I sound "far away/ distant and very quiet".  I had no idea why, and thought it was reception issue so moved around the house in hope of 'improving signal' but to no avail.  Once I made a call in the car and had full reception, yet the person said they could not hear me at all.  Another thing was, when I did some testing at home and I called mum, she said each time she spoke she would hear her voice bounce back.  I checked it and it was true.  Weird.  However, whenever I received an incoming call, we could hear each other no problem.  Whenever I made or received calls using speakerphone, again, no problems.  I don't make that many outbound calls, or at least not often enough, so could not catch this problem until over 7 days after I initially bought the phone, so cannot return to seller and have to deal with Samsung.  Therefore I located this Samsung approved repair specialist.  In fact, I have been here before once, with my Samsung laptop.  the left speaker gave off a crackily sound in higher volumes and this annoyed me.  It went in twice, but came out none the better.  So... I guess Samsung and I don't really mix well eh!  =(

Now I'm feeling a little incomplete without my phone because I am so used to having the important features like Google Calendar, GMail along with Whatsapp and Words with Friends.  Not to forget my 8MP camera and Facebook.  But the last two items are just extras.  Not essential.  My schedule is much more important.  Even important emails have to be read after work when I get home now.  So hopefully nobody will try to contact me in these few days.  Estimated time of getting phone back: Friday.  What the heck!!  "Really busy, with long queue of repairs" I was told.

Pending...

So that's a new thing on my Pending list.  The first thing that was pending from before was the plumbing.  Our toilet has had intermittent leaks/ flooding for the past few months.  By intermittent it was like once every 3-4 weeks where we flush and some water would leak out of the out pipe, seeming like a blockage was there or something.  Some "advice" we recieved said it could be the main street pipe was clogged up and that backed up the water.  Plumber One came up and helped up seal the "gap" where the water was flowing back out and said hope it helped.  It worked for a few days then the flooding got a bit worse and pushed out of the silicone gel thing he used.  Clearly that was not good enough.  He came up to inspect again and there was a leak as well now.  Mum thinks was due to the out pipe being moved when the silicone was applied the first time.  Plumber One denied it and then gave the number to Plumber Two who was the original guy who installed our bathroom for us.  Plumber Two came, witnesses the backflow of water and regurgitation through the bathtub plughole.  But it only happened once.  Then after further inspection and flushing lots of loo roll down the toilet the blockage seemed to have cleared.  There was no more back flow and no more sound.  Phew!  That was relief.  However, the small leak was still there, though very small now, but still there.  He said it will stop once the blockage is gone.  Mum was adament it was still there and wanted further attention to it.  However, Plumber Two said the pipe is not wet anymore and what mum saw/ felt on the pipe must have been the condensation from the water tank.  And not to worry.  We did not argue with him anymore as we were both mixed with relief that it would not leak anymore but also disbelief.

After Plumber Two left, we found the leaking continued.  Mum was fuming.  She really questioned Plumber Two's professionalism and vowed never to use him again.  We had numbers for two other plumbers we used from long time ago.  I called one: took my number said he'd get back to me in twenty mins, but never did.  The other plumber's numbers were both disconnected.  Guess he must have retired.  So... what now?  Leave the water to drip slowly and hope it ceases itself?  Mum was already very anxious and had lost hours of sleep over this.  I had lost sleep and had to reshuffle lessons to meet the mentioned Plumbers, but all to no success.  Mum spoke on the phone to church aunties and one suggested getting the number to another friend's plumber.  (You can see how things were getting a bit complicated here.)  In the end I decided not to call so many people.  I thought of asking a church brother's advice, see if he knew of any reliable plumbers who can do the job properly for us.  He gave me a number to call but advised against calling him out weekends due to weekend premium.  I advised I would arrange for Monday visit (today).  Called about six times over three days, left three voicemails and a text message.  Nothing.

When I was about to give up I got a call after leaving S3Interative (thankfully I plugged my sim into the K810i - very old phone but very RELIABLE!).  Plumber Three called back and said he was away for the weekend and left his phone at home.  He said he saw my messages and called me back straight away.  Sounded quite friendly and said he'd call me after 6PM this evening to arrange to have a look at the toilet.  I was really happy.  Was all ready for him then got a text message about 5:50PM saying it'll have to be tomorrow as something has just come up.  I asked him what time, asked if it were ok to be after 4PM, or else I can make sure I am home between 12-1:30PM (meaning I reschedule another lesson at last minute!!).  He said it's hard to say, but he'll contact me through the day tomorrow.  WHAT THE HECK!!  Plumbers are usually self-employed people.  At least these ones are.  I am a self-employed person, I would never do that to my pupil or potential pupils - arrange something, promise something then postpone like that.  Even if so, at least give a call to explain through the phone, not hide behind a text.  Arghhhh!!!!!!

So, the toilet case is dragging on for at least another night.  I really really really hope that Plumber Three can make it up to check the toilet between 12-1:30PM cos I'll be home for him and if he is not I'll be very very disappointed.  If this goes on like this I might just go crazy and call up a very expensive plumber coming like JH Horn Plumbers and I'm pretty sure they'll get the job done very professionally with invoices, possibly guarantees etc and at a time/ day that it suitable for both parties.  Sake man!!  Money I have, but time I don't have any to waste.  I have a life to live here guys.  I don't want to think about toilets all day.

I always remember Rene Descartes' philosophical quote: "I think therefore I am."  Oh dear...

What's the point?

Was in a "can't be bothered" mood today.  Finished work at 3PM since my last lesson cancelled yesterday cos she was sick (genuine in fact, cos she was already losing her voice on Monday night's lesson).  So I had all this free time to spare.  Went to my Men's Store appointment to get some waxing done.  That only took about 10-15 minutes then I was back out in town again.  It was raining so I had my big umbrella up.  People were busy rushing about.  Cars and buses were busy going to their destinations.  Everyone had a purpose.  Yet I felt purpose-less, I felt aimless.  Originally I thought I might go to Next or M&S and look for suit trousers to replace my current ones.  And maybe even look for light jumper/ sweaters for having long sleeves for work in the car.  The recent dramatic change in weather has caught me out a little, especially last Monday when it was absolutely baltic.  Anyway, after using the toilet at Buchanan Galleries I just sat at the internet kiosk area, played with my phone and just couldn't be assed doing anything.

There was a feeling of loneliness creeping up inside me.  It has always lurked in the backgroud, but I do my best to fight it, not succumb to it.  I try to ignore it.  When I mentioned it to someone close, he said that I have the gym and my business to keep me occupied.  That is true.  I suppose keeping myself busy may "drown out the noise" for a while.  But what about after that?  What about at the end of the night?  The gym closes.  I finish work.  Then...?  I mean, sometimes things can feel so meaningless.  Get what I'm saying?  It's like a rich man who has all money and fame and power.  But no friends or family, sleeps alone at night.  No one to share happiness and wealth with.  Whats the point?  Yes I have friends and I have family.  But no significant other.  That gaping "hole" is getting more and more obvious now, at least to myself.

I'm not ashamed to say that but that longing is increasing daily.  I know some people say that they don't like to put things online, that they want to keep things private, don't want to let people know so much etc.  Well, that's their choice.  Too long have I listened to people's "advice" or "comments" and try to work them into my own life.  But you know what?  I don't think it'll work for me.  This is me.  This is my blog.  And I trust that it is my friends who actually read my blog.  Anybody else who stumble across my blog through Fb or through keyword searches are very welcome to read all this too.  Cos at the end of the day, this is who I am.  Gordon So, an ageing British Born Chinese Christian guy.  Yes I am a Christian, yet that does not stop me from having feelings and emotions right?  That doesn't mean I am free from feeling sad etc right?  Cos after all, it is these feelings and emotions that I share with the Lord and now I am sharing with y'all.

Some people might say that I needn't put things online, instead find a few friends to talk to and pray with you etc.  Well finding a few friends would mean having to repeat everything a few times.  Do you think I'd want that?  I might end up missing things out or saying the wrong things.  And most likely, when meeting with guys you don't get that emotional anyway.  Guys "act tough" and might not express themselves that well.  So if you wanna read this, then you're welcome to.  What you do with this information is also up to you.  Pray for me?  Laugh at me?  Tease me?  Share with your friends?  Whatever!

My sister is getting married next summer and will later migrate to Singapore to be with her hubby Nick, who so happens to be one of my close friends.  I am very happy for them deep down, genuinely.  Once Cat leaves though, the flat will only be occupied by mum and me.  Though I cannot fully comprehend what it will be like say exactly a year from now (20th October 2012), I know the house will be a lot quieter.  I will be 29 then and mum will be... nah, I am not telling you THAT!  But anyway, there will be simple meals at dinner.  Mum will be older so will be more tired after work.  Will I still be moaning like this?  Will the quietness at home mean I have more time for my mind to wander?  What's quite sad is I might not even have a partner to go to my sister's wedding with.  Who knows what God has in store though.  But at present the prospects are not looking good.  Why can't I find someone who is willing to commit to a relationship?  Why do so many people I know have to be studying?  Have to be in different walks of life from me?  I know God didn't create man to be alone, therefore when he created Adam God also created Eve as a partner for him.  In search of my "Eve" I have to remind myself that God has a plan for me.  A plan to prosper me, not to harm me.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Washed away...?

I wish sins could be washed away with my shower an hour ago.  I wish troubles could be washed away down the drain pipe as well.  I wish worries and uncertainties would vanish along with the condensation in the bathroom.  But they don't disappear as quickly as we'd like.

The first driving lesson of this morning was very taxing.  This was pupil's first lesson after two weeks of missing out.  A middle-aged Chinese wifey who needs the lesson in all Cantonese.  She's tiny.  From the start we had difficulties in getting her to push the clutch pedal fully down, so we use a booster seat for her back to push her lower half further forward to help her wee legs.  That's not an issue.  We did a recap of the previous lesson and the important MSPSL steps we take to do anything.  That is, we check our mirrors, decide if we need a signal, position our car, make sure the speed and gears match and then look into the new road that we're going in to.  The theory sounded fine and were both in agreeance with it.  The problem started when we started the car and her wee left foot had difficulty finding the biting point yet again.  We had this problem few lessons back but by now she should be ok with it.  Fine, I changed cars few weeks back but she shouldn't be that bad.  After a few starts and stops she managed to get the biting point accurately but taking like aaaaages!  I couldn't even rush her cos didn't want to make her panic.  A few times we parked by the road side and the car was going slower but still travelled too fast for a stop.  Upon checking her out again I realised she was not fully pressing the clutch down when stopping at the kerb and the car was moving at the biting point. I reminded her the clutch is always the one you press to the floor and the response was "Oh is it?" as if we hadn't covered it EVER!  So I said, "Yeah, I've been doing that since day one" and smiled.  Inside I was screaaaaaming!!!  What the heck!!  The whole lesson went on pretty shoddy and I caught her yawning a few times.  Her usual lesson time is 1-3pm but had to be earlier time of 10:30am this morning due to a driving test.  So I guess she had another excuse that she didn't have enough sleep. Sigh!!  I find my patience really tested with Cantonese lessons.  I cannot express myself or explain things as well in Cantonese as I can in English.  So telling people off I get all flustered trying to flick through my Chinese dictionary in my head finding the right words.  Argh!!!  I guess I am not very patient after all.  This job has confirmed that...

Just Go With It

This evening I went to watch Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston's movie "Just Go With It" and was hoping to be cheered up cos I've been feeling crap this passed week with so many things happening, unnecessary phone calls, unncessary meet ups, unnecessary stress and of course my recovering shoulder, which I can confirm is all 99% restored!!  However, I have yet to go back to the gym cos I kept sleeping in on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday cos I've been up dealing with stuff, thinking, blogging and praying.  It's very frustrating indeed but I hope next week will give me yet another chance to start afresh and to refocus on myself and doing the things that help make me feel happier.  The gym is my pride and joy and I have to get back into it =)

So this movie did cheer me up a wee bit, aye.  It had some funny parts in it that literally made me laugh loudly and I was not ashamed of it although I was sitting on my own in a packed Screen 9 which was full of couples all over the joint.  Couples and groups of wee kids that'd shout stuff occasionally.  Lol!  The movie plot was about a doctor who used to sleep around with girls after pretending he was married to a really abusive wife.  Until one day he found a girl whom he really liked and didn't have the ring on, but she found the ring in his pocket and went mad.  He then had to spin a story that was he was in the middle of a divorce from this "wife" and enlisted the help of his work assistant/secretary to pretend to be the wife.  And there the movie starts off, lie after lie, lies to cover other lies and in the end he discovers who he really loved.  Kinda cliche but kinda different too.  It was nice and made me think about stuff.  Sometimes the shiny young hot blonde ain't the answer to everything.  Haha!!

Free to jump

How I long to be free from sin, free from bondage, free from troubles of life, free from worries of the world.  However, life can't be all plain sailing, can it?  Some stuff that trouble me I brought upon myself.  This I know and I regret, repent and turn away.  But have I let go?  If so, will it still trouble me?  There are times I realise I bring troubles and worries upon myself because I haven't truly let go.  I am still curious about certain things, and I check them out, and I let my findings 'affect' me.  This can be positive or negative effects.  Probably cos I still care.  I know if I feed my 'curiosity' there is a 50-50 chance I can be affected positively, yet at the same there is also the negative part to deal with.  What if?  It's still a big risk isn't it?  50-50 chance of making the wrong decision.  Sometimes you take the plunge: you hold your breath, you close your eyes, go by faith and jump!  The moments you are in 'freefall' feel very surreal.  You've done it.  You've taken the gamble.  You've taken the risk.  This 'freefall' moment can last for any length of time: seconds, minutes, days or months (you get the drift), then just like a parachuter when you fall pass all the clouds and the air clears up, you start to see which 'landing pad' you will end up on.  Remember it's 50-50.  You chose to take the leap.  Nobody pushed you.  You had the time to think things through.  You jumped knowing you might land on gold or you might land on manure (just random examples guys!).

The jump

I took that jump.  In fact, I take these "jumps" every day.  We all do.  Mini "jumps" or big "jumps", they are still risks.  The "jump" I took recently has landed me in manure and I can't blame anybody but myself.  I am heavily disappointed.  I really thought the 50% of "gold" would be enough for me to land on.  But no, I ended up in manure (I'm not in trouble, don't worry, again just example words).  What can I do?  Once I can stand up and get out I will catch my breath (it's gonna smell reaally bad) and I will start cleaning myself off these things.  Cleaning the crap off.  And hope that the stench will wear off after numerous showers, scrubbing.  But that's gonna be of no help if I wear the same clothes that I wore when I fell into the manure.  How can I be free from stench if I clean myself yet still put on the old stinky clothes?  Decision: get rid of the old clothes too.  In fact, burn them.  Get something new.  Be free from the stinky clothes.  Tonight I have decided to do that.  Burn stinky stuff...

The title of my blog is My Life's Lessons.  Well what did I learn from this?  Well, here's what I learnt.  Stick to what you know best.  If you take a long time to trust someone, to take a risk with them, then just keep doing that.  I changed my ways of doing things and took a "jump".  That's why I now stink.  Lesson point of the day: "Do not trust easily, Gordon!".

Nosy people

I should watch who I open up to sometimes.  I think a storm is now brewing.  I think I am about to suffer repercussions over stuff I've said during a moment when I felt trust and when I let myself be vulnerable.

I might be wrong though, but the feelings I get inside is of nostalgia.  Nostalgia, not of the good kind, but the kind that makes me wanna say, "What the heck!  Not this again?  Why this all over again??!"

I wish people will leave me alone.  Why can I be left alone?  Why do people have to mind my business and ask questions or ask to speak to me?  I've done it all before.  Been there, done that.  Doesn't work.  Why do I have to meet people that I don't want?  Am I too soft?  Can't I say no??

Of course I can say No, but then I will always think what if people think I have something to hide?  In fact I have nothing to hide.  Whatever you ask of me you will get 100% truthful and honest answers.  Ok, I will arm myself for that.

Just don't ask questions if you don't think you can handle the answers.  And once I give my answers, just take them, digest them and leave.  Don't come running back with questions or whatever.  You had the opportunity to ask more at that point.  Accept me for who I am and move on!

Ultimately... I think all this trouble stems from one source...